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FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, I was shopping at my workplace, out of uniform, with my husband. A customer recognised me and wanted me to serve him, but I couldn't since we can be fired for doing so while off-duty. He complained to my manager, who wasted no time publicly bitching me out. FML

#21285416
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33581) - you deserved it (2160)

On 10/26/2014 at 1:53am - work - by iskiel (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend asked me when I was going to shave my arms now that summer is coming in Australia. FML

#21261696
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30783) - you deserved it (5433)

On 09/20/2014 at 8:23am - love - by chubbyg - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

#21259933
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39853) - you deserved it (2532)

On 09/17/2014 at 8:18am - misc - by makeyourselfathome (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while walking to work, I found out what it feels like to be hit in the face by a rolled up newspaper thrown from the window of a moving car by a paper boy doing his rounds. It hit hard enough to give me a black eye. FML

#21246995
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35358) - you deserved it (2716)

On 08/28/2014 at 6:31am - work - by newswithabitofbite (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

#21238533
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38712) - you deserved it (6120)

On 08/15/2014 at 10:16pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML

#21173916
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48161) - you deserved it (4600)

On 06/13/2014 at 11:56pm - misc - by -_- (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at my mother's open-casket funeral, my sister-in-law went to pay her respects. As she stood in front of the body, she coughed, muttering "bitch" in the process. Either nobody else noticed or nobody cared, and she went on her way, noticeably not choked up at all. FML

#21173556
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41772) - you deserved it (4050)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a guy I had been casually seeing asked me to dinner. Thinking he could be wanting to make things serious, I got all dressed up. Turns out he got a girlfriend and just wanted to tell me in person to avoid things being awkward. We then waited in silence for our meal. FML

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML

#21157398
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61023) - you deserved it (6721)

On 05/30/2014 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by lahiros (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

#21153496
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48003) - you deserved it (5034)

On 05/27/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49602) - you deserved it (4529)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

#21110266
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41670) - you deserved it (3086)

On 04/11/2014 at 12:38pm - misc - by Cuntlette (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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