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FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

#21315008
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35683) - you deserved it (3725)

On 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by unlovedandunfucked (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got friendzoned by three different women. Each girl suggested I should ask out one of the other two women who also friendzoned me. FML

#21309350
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31969) - you deserved it (9142)

On 12/01/2014 at 9:37am - love - by foreveralone (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in thanks for my assistance, a customer recommended me a plastic surgeon who could "really help with that face." FML

#21304340
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27023) - you deserved it (2101)

On 11/23/2014 at 5:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35581) - you deserved it (8606)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

#21290572
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35069) - you deserved it (3901)

On 11/02/2014 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, trying to be a good role model for the kids behind me, I stopped and thoroughly checked both sides of the road before crossing. I still managed to get hit by a car. FML

#21287500
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34438) - you deserved it (6650)

On 10/29/2014 at 4:19am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was shopping at my workplace, out of uniform, with my husband. A customer recognised me and wanted me to serve him, but I couldn't since we can be fired for doing so while off-duty. He complained to my manager, who wasted no time publicly bitching me out. FML

#21285416
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33598) - you deserved it (2160)

On 10/26/2014 at 1:53am - work - by iskiel (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend asked me when I was going to shave my arms now that summer is coming in Australia. FML

#21261696
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30776) - you deserved it (5434)

On 09/20/2014 at 8:23am - love - by chubbyg - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

#21259933
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39873) - you deserved it (2535)

On 09/17/2014 at 8:18am - misc - by makeyourselfathome (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while walking to work, I found out what it feels like to be hit in the face by a rolled up newspaper thrown from the window of a moving car by a paper boy doing his rounds. It hit hard enough to give me a black eye. FML

#21246995
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35389) - you deserved it (2716)

On 08/28/2014 at 6:31am - work - by newswithabitofbite (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

#21238533
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38734) - you deserved it (6125)

On 08/15/2014 at 10:16pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML

#21173916
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48194) - you deserved it (4601)

On 06/13/2014 at 11:56pm - misc - by -_- (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at my mother's open-casket funeral, my sister-in-law went to pay her respects. As she stood in front of the body, she coughed, muttering "bitch" in the process. Either nobody else noticed or nobody cared, and she went on her way, noticeably not choked up at all. FML

#21173556
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41903) - you deserved it (4061)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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