Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Vermont

Today, my college roommate tried to kick me out, because what I say makes her uncomfortable. We haven't talked for 3 months. FML

#21517235
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19209) - you deserved it (1677)

On 01/20/2016 at 1:06am - misc - by college0001 - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had to explain to my 35-year-old husband that "Honda" and "Hyundai" are two separate car companies, not to two different pronunciations of the same one. FML

#21489040
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20721) - you deserved it (1993)

On 11/05/2015 at 11:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Vermont)

Today, the couple I've been housesitting for returned. Apparently, I kept the place too clean, and they don't believe that I actually stayed here. They're refusing to pay me. FML

#21481187
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28812) - you deserved it (1525)

On 10/17/2015 at 5:32pm - money - by NeedToBeMessier - United States (Vermont)

Today, on a nature hike, covered in poison oak rashes from the day before, I accidentally stepped on a hornets' nest. I'm now covered in hornet stings and I can't scratch the poison oak because I might accidentally touch the stings. FML

Today, I accidentally dropped and shattered my small bathroom mirror. My sister came to see what was going on, took one look at the shattered mirror, and said, "About time you put it out if its misery." FML

#21458446
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21343) - you deserved it (2558)

On 08/20/2015 at 12:18pm - misc - by fuck you btichass cuntshit (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

#21448563
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27734) - you deserved it (3520)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm - misc - by Oopsie - United States (Vermont)

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding at the last moment, because her neurotic sister thinks she's "too fat" to be the maid of honor, and says she needs several months to lose weight. So that's a few thousand dollars wasted. My fiancée says I'm "overreacting" and that I "just don't get it". FML

#21407311
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35233) - you deserved it (3096)

On 05/09/2015 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I found out that turkeys can fly. I also found out how much a new windshield costs. FML

#21392388
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31402) - you deserved it (2770)

On 04/12/2015 at 2:29pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

#21334531
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27444) - you deserved it (4903)

On 01/10/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41374) - you deserved it (3643)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37722) - you deserved it (5010)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

#21246620
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39108) - you deserved it (3270)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by dr.mantistobagon (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went on a date with an extremely cute girl. About 30 minutes in, she excused herself to the restroom. I waited for about 20 minutes, then I got up and left. About 10 minutes later, she called asking where I was. FML



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: