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FMLs submitted from Utrecht

Today, it was my first day working as a dental assistant, leaving me in charge of all cleaning. The first patient was so scared, he peed his pants. Which might have been understandable if he hadn't been a fully grown man. FML

#21384513
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24292) - you deserved it (2080)

On 03/30/2015 at 11:52pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, while on the bus, a friendly-looking guy smiled at me, so I smiled back. He then pointed at my teeth and said, "You gonna get those fixed, or just keep them as a conversation starter?" FML

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45237) - you deserved it (3433)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I told my friend, who's a marriage counsellor, about some of the things my husband does that I hate, like snoring loudly and eating with his mouth open. I wasn't asking for advice, but she just looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Divorce." Bye-bye, faith in humanity. FML

#20727839
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35933) - you deserved it (5146)

On 06/15/2013 at 5:08pm - misc - by ineedbetterfriends (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

#20656177
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41475) - you deserved it (7164)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm - kids - by What the fuck, son? (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML

#20410843
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18881) - you deserved it (12618)

On 12/21/2012 at 5:02am - animals - by I Like My Cat (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML

#20193830
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5520) - you deserved it (76395)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I went to see my favorite band. It was all amazing and great until I decided to go crowd surfing. I was maybe too heavy because people jumped away instead of catching me. I fell right on my tailbone. FML

#20166417
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7098) - you deserved it (28207)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:56am - health - by lekijkerd - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, at a supermarket entrance, a seemingly drunk old lady said, "Sir?" as I passed by. I just ignored her and walked in. When I walked out with my groceries fifteen minutes later, several people were standing around her, calling for an ambulance. She'd passed out on the ground. FML

#20057390
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8816) - you deserved it (53554)

On 09/04/2012 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

#19612935
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5981) - you deserved it (21228)

On 05/12/2012 at 6:09pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my boyfriend thought it was a good show of etiquette to answer a text message from his ex, while he was still inside me. FML

#19573646
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31858) - you deserved it (3266)

On 05/04/2012 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

#18550622
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42711) - you deserved it (4258)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by lovely (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)



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