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FMLs submitted from Utah

Today, the only reason I work 12-hour shifts and close at midnight every Saturday is because my boss doesn't like the fact that I have a boyfriend. FML

Today, I had a volleyball game, and we were down by 13 points. I looked up at the crowd, and my mom was shaking her head in disappointment. When it was my turn to serve, I aced them, and tied the score. When I looked up she was gone. She'd left. When I got home, I heard how I sucked for an hour. FML

#21260940
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39896) - you deserved it (2414)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:56pm - misc - by Lexi801 - United States (Utah)

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19521) - you deserved it (45102)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, my neighbor yelled at me because, according to him, the sound of me scraping the ice off my windshield wakes him up every morning. This is the same neighbor who ran over my mailbox last week because there was too much snow on his windows to see properly. FML

#21101388
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40749) - you deserved it (2799)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:03pm - misc - by IcyWindows - United States (Utah)

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

#21075108
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37413) - you deserved it (15001)

On 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm - money - by SarahNB - United States (Utah)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

#21071183
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42005) - you deserved it (7473)

On 02/25/2014 at 11:59am - love - by jill (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

#21063397
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43139) - you deserved it (6406)

On 02/17/2014 at 1:28pm - love - by kj1 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

#21057323
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46739) - you deserved it (6095)

On 02/11/2014 at 4:50pm - love - by not even getting any of her shrimp (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got the ending to Breaking Bad spoiled for me by a cashier while I was buying the final season box-set. FML

#20979412
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41555) - you deserved it (3788)

On 12/03/2013 at 2:45pm - misc - by nemesis5196523 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
205 comments

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

#20950523
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49903) - you deserved it (4080)

On 11/08/2013 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by JN5SLK (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91432) - you deserved it (6632)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, after paying back the money my grandma lent me to fix my car, I stepped outside, only to see my car leaking antifreeze all over the driveway. I had to ask for the money back to fix it again. FML

#20916786
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40467) - you deserved it (3453)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:53pm - money - by broke_broken - United States (Utah)



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