FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, after moving back in with my parents, I found out they had held on to a chunk of mail still being sent during the time I had been changing my old address. Included was a summons to jury duty. FML

by Silentshdw13 / 03/14/2016 at 7:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called to see if my bridesmaid's dress was ready. They told me it had already been picked up, the bride's mom picked up the dress and got rid of it because she doesn't want me in the wedding. FML

by buttercup92 / 03/13/2016 at 9:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. As we waited for our food he took my hand and said, "I think we should break up." When I got outside, my tire was flat. FML

by Anon / 03/12/2016 at 7:13pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend is mad at me for causing him to fail a science test. Apparently he thought I was serious when I told him that homo sapiens were extinct because they were "homo". FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2016 at 2:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a big scholarship. I was ecstatic, until I looked up the cost of tuition at that university. I still need $120K. FML

by rhymehoardhh / 03/04/2016 at 8:41pm / United States (Texas) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was working at a sushi restaurant, a guy told me he wanted the table next to the "koi fish tank", because he wanted to let the fish know what happens when they "cross him". FML

by IhadToTakeCareOfTraumatizedFish / 03/03/2016 at 12:32am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML

by Racked / 03/01/2016 at 1:00pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I forgot to bring my lunch to work. I got so hungry, I resorted to eating antacid tablets from the medicine cabinet for lunch. FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2016 at 6:17am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I'm neck-deep in debt paying for med school. What's worse, the professors here are so terrible that even the morons on Yahoo Answers are 100 times better at explaining my coursework to me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2016 at 4:12am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the money I spent on a very specific degree was wasted, because apparently, I don't qualify for a job at the place that told me I had to have that degree. FML

by BlueyedKat / 02/27/2016 at 1:03am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my nephew gave me a piece of gum. He's not one to share, so I was rather shocked at his kindness. After a while chewing, he admitted he gave it to me because the pack was in his pocket when he peed his pants. FML

by Joseph / 02/26/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my cat was being surprisingly loving towards me. Normally she ignores me so I obviously found this rather odd. She kept meowing so I assumed she was hungry. As I was getting up to feed her, she stood up and pooped all over me, my bed and phone, then turned away and ran. FML

by sippinsoup22 / 02/15/2016 at 8:25pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly rammed his thumb across my eye hard enough to push my contact back into my eye socket. FML

by notonthepavement / 02/15/2016 at 6:04am / United States (Texas) / Health