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FMLs submitted from Texas

TODAY, I HOOKAD UP WITH A GIRL FROM THA BAR. WA WANT BACK TO MAH PLACA AN STARTAD MAKING OUT, I TOOK OFF HAR SHIRT AN BRA AN STARTAD KISSING HAR BRAASTS. I FALT HAR CHAST HAIR TICKLA MAH TONGUA. FML

#2557919
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60436) - you deserved it (25843)

On 06/03/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by galen (man) - United States (Texas)

TODAY , I WAS RIDING ON MAH BIKE WHEN A GUY ON THE STREET SHOUTED , "I LOVE YOU!" AT ME. I RECENTLY TOLD MAH BOYFRIEND I LOVED HIM , AND HIS RESPONSE WAS , "I DON'T LOVE YOU BUT I WON'T TREAT YOU ANY DIFFERENTLY." PERVERTS ON THE STREET LOVE ME , BUT MAH BOYFRIEND DOESN'T. FAT FML

#2555277
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48557) - you deserved it (4911)

On 06/03/2009 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

TODAY, MY FIANCÉ AND I WERE CUDDLING IN BED TALKING ABOUT OUR FUTURE WEDDING COMING UP. HE LEANED OVER SEDUCTIVELY TO TELL ME HE GOT A PRESENT FOR ME TO ‘USE’ ON OUR WEDDING DAY. IT WAS A PACK OF BREATH MINTS. FML

#2491424
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41398) - you deserved it (10349)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:55am - love - by thanksbaby (woman) - United States (Texas)

today I met this really nice guy at the mall an he gave me his number. Later that night, I texted him. We got on the subject of food, an I started talking about how much I love veal. He responded with saying I was supporting animal murder, that I should go to hell an lose his number. FML

#2449996
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41414) - you deserved it (18911)

On 05/30/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , mah friend paypal'd me some money to tide me over until mah school loans come through. For a transaction description , he wrote "to get back in that pussy game." It got red flagged , an I had to talk with three female customer service agents before it went through.

#2397904
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38908) - you deserved it (4022)

On 05/29/2009 at 9:15am - money - by Jordan (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I seemingly misplaced mah cell phone but didn't have time to look fir it before work. This evening, mah cell phone company calls me to tell me I have six looool hundred dollars worth of calls to El Salvador that I have to pay for. My cell phone was not misplaced, it was stolen. FML

#2384944
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40101) - you deserved it (3609)

On 05/28/2009 at 8:13pm - money - by xxteenhearts (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , mah mom talkd about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises . She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more . We were stuck in stop an go traffic for 3 hours . When I turnd on the radio , she turnd it off an talkd more . FML

#2267946
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86585) - you deserved it (5023)

On 05/25/2009 at 4:54am - intimacy - by ITSnotFUNNYtoMEass (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at mah friands' farm and wa dacidd that wa wantd to go to thair old traahousa. Whan wa got down thara, it turnd out mah friand Cat had forgottan har shoas. Baing a gantlaman, I lant har mah sandals. I than climbd tha traahousa, fall out, and got a nail through mah foot. FML

#2267588
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57618) - you deserved it (6397)

On 05/25/2009 at 4:33am - animals - by jackelking (man) - United States (Texas)

Today I was running outside !! On te last mile I am along side some fields !! Wile running along te side of te road I glanced down and saw a snake !! I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car screaming like a girl !! Te snake was dead !!

#2176338
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33829) - you deserved it (12880)

On 05/22/2009 at 10:08am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

yesterday me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today . We were all giggling lyk little grls for the better half of 15 minutes . I don't know wat is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43 . FML

#2110386
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44243) - you deserved it (14142)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

TODAY, AFTER A LONG NIGHT OF CRAMMING FIR AN EXTENSIVE ANATOMY FINAL (DETAILED DIAGRAM INCLUDED), I CHECK THE SENIOR FINAL SCHEDULE TO FINE THAT ANATOMY IS TILL TOMORROW, BUT I TAKE CALCULU IN 10 MINUTES. THIS IS FOLLOWED BY AN E-MAIL FROM MAH TEACHER SAYING I CAN EXEMPT ANATOMY. FML

#2108783
100 comments

Today, I Was Hanging Out With A Few Of My Friends, Including An Old Ex-grlfriend An Her Current Boyfriend Of 5 Yeres. When My Ex, Whose Vrginity I Had Taken Yeres Earlier, Mentioned, "I Had The IPhone Frst," Without Thinking, I Immediately Responded, "Well, I Had YOU Frst." FML

#2103981
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18768) - you deserved it (88368)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I adopted a dog from the local shelter. I put the dog in the car and he was shedding everywhere, but I was ok with that because he was my dog. As I pulled into the parking lot, the dog began to poop in the backseat of my car. When I got him out of the car, he ran off. $100 4 him to poop and run away. FML

#2097800
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41637) - you deserved it (9365)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:17pm - animals - by Debra2005 - United States (Texas)



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