Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36205) - you deserved it (7349)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a $20 bill on the ground, so I decided to pick it up. It was actually attached to a string and was meant to be a prank by some kids. They failed miserably, so I took the money. They ran up to me and punched me in the balls for taking their cash. FML

#21290736
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35757) - you deserved it (7121)

On 11/02/2014 at 7:11pm - money - by ethawesome1125 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML

#21289613
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40399) - you deserved it (6715)

On 11/01/2014 at 10:06am - love - by limegreengiraffe - United States (Texas)

Today, I got approached by a lady while eating at a fast-food restaurant who asked if I could spare five dollars. Confidently, I pulled out my wallet to show her that I had no cash, only to reveal a perfectly crisp five dollar bill that I had completely forgotten about. FML

#21284180
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30237) - you deserved it (16194)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:02am - money - by Yeah (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML

#21283103
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33318) - you deserved it (6836)

On 10/22/2014 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43098) - you deserved it (8685)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33574) - you deserved it (15726)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got robbed. I just moved so I didn't have much in my new house. They did decide that my cat was valuable enough to steal. FML

#21271461
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45557) - you deserved it (2955)

On 10/05/2014 at 7:30pm - animals - by FML - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

#21270163
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45652) - you deserved it (4272)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by oncehipjr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said marijuana, I started making pot jokes. He really asked for mineral water. I was given a drug test when we landed. FML

#21269829
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31863) - you deserved it (11425)

On 10/02/2014 at 9:55pm - work - by stewardess - United States (Texas)

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24124) - you deserved it (35413)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41061) - you deserved it (4499)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

#21265100
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33081) - you deserved it (10063)

On 09/25/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: