Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML

#21263128
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34067) - you deserved it (2583)

On 09/22/2014 at 1:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was reviewing for a major nursing school exam I have this week. I panicked because none of the material seemed familiar, and figured that I must've missed something during class and now had to catch up. After 4 hours, I finally realized that I'd been studying from the wrong textbook. FML

#21262757
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31148) - you deserved it (13403)

On 09/21/2014 at 10:12pm - misc - by IdiotNursingStudent (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41952) - you deserved it (11699)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

#21261532
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32609) - you deserved it (7723)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm - misc - by camerashyguy - United States (Texas)

Today, after politely reminding my husband to turn the bathroom light off after he's done, he did so. While I was on the toilet. FML

#21258522
57 comments

Today, I had an important oral report to deliver with a partner. Not only did he come in late and high, he pronounced Virginia as "Vagina" the whole way through. FML

#21257414
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36069) - you deserved it (3163)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:36am - misc - by Jamestown of Vagina (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

#21257293
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34262) - you deserved it (17356)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:29am - misc - by Nat - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my sister licks all the flavoring off Doritos and puts them back in the bag. FML

#21252905
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39388) - you deserved it (3077)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by UghDude (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

#21251580
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39263) - you deserved it (3267)

On 09/04/2014 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

#21249886
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34260) - you deserved it (3060)

On 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by s0728 - United States (Texas)

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49332) - you deserved it (5586)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my little sister was using my phone to play games. About an hour later, she came to me and said my phone wouldn't work. Turns out my phone had gotten hot and she put it in water to cool it down. FML

#21247999
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39575) - you deserved it (4883)

On 08/29/2014 at 5:22pm - kids - by Quincy_Ethan - United States (Texas)

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

#21247834
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36507) - you deserved it (3219)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: