FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I learned my boyfriend has another girlfriend. His excuse is he's bipolar and each of his personalities needs a girlfriend. FML

by life sucks / 05/20/2010 at 1:12am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My cell phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML

by BigMouth McRedface / 05/13/2010 at 10:11pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I got my son's phone bill (the phone I got him to call us from college). I found out he's been calling a phone sex hotline everyday. He hasn't called us once. FML

by dannytriplet / 04/11/2010 at 2:34am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I finally realized that the only time my mother talks to me is when she needs money. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2010 at 1:18am / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, my boyfriend of more than two years told me in front of all of our friends that he'd trade me for some Playstation 3 games. I laughed it off because I thought he was kidding. He made it clear that he was serious. FML

by Girl / 03/17/2010 at 3:05am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found out that I will be spending my spring break alone because my family is going to France. I can't go with them nor go with any of my friends because I have to take care of the cat. FML

by LG / 03/17/2010 at 12:18am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I realized my girlfriend has way more friends than I do. How did I realize this? She called me to tell me she was at the beach with her friends and how much fun she was having. I was playing WoW in my room, and my friends don't answer my texts. FML

by LonelyBoy / 03/16/2010 at 1:12am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, the satellite radio at work went on the fritz, playing one song over and over. Management wouldn't turn it off, though, because then customers would miss out on all those upcoming-sale announcements that run intermittently. Meanwhile, I got to listen to "Footloose" for eight hours. FML

by PunchingKennyLoggins / 03/15/2010 at 9:33am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I woke up late for a very important presentation. I got dressed but forgot to wear a bra. During the presentation, I bent down to adjust a shoe strap. I rose to find that the thin straps of my blouse snapped and exposed my breasts. I gave a great presentation and a titty show. FML

by exposed / 03/15/2010 at 2:35am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I discovered my mom had sold all of our summer clothes over the winter on eBay because we're short on cash. However, I am allowed to cut off the sleeves of all my long sleeve shirts and the legs off my jeans to stay cool in the summer. Nothing's more attractive than looking trashy, right? FML

by Nicole / 03/13/2010 at 2:16pm / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I discovered my step mom had thrown out my baby blanket because it was an "eyesore". It was an heirloom from my birth mother and the only thing I have left from her. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 3:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom told me she can't wait for me to turn eighteen so she can turn my room into a place for her to display all her antique glass dolls. FML

by heartless / 03/11/2010 at 4:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous