FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I complained to my boss about how my printer wasn't printing colored ink even though I had just installed a new cartridge yesterday. Upon investigation, she noted that I forgot to take off the protection sticker from the cartridge. Good job. FML

by MrandMrsRendon20 / 11/10/2010 at 7:26pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was writing my narrative essay for my English class. When I turned it in, I was really proud of what I thought I wrote. Evidently for some people listening to music while writing essays is a bad thing. My essay was filled with little bits of ZZ Top lyrics. FML

by hwscrewed / 11/09/2010 at 11:00pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2010 at 8:31pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I went on a drive with my girlfriend when we went past a 'Dead End' sign. She pointed to it and said it was "Foreshadowing our relationship". FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 4:32pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I spent 6 hours unloading boxes into my new apartment. After unloading the entire truck and making trips up and down two flights of stairs, I heard a knock on the door. Apparently the landlord gave me the key to the WRONG apartment. Mine is downstairs. FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2010 at 7:56pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I wore my high school letterman jacket while I was out shopping. A man saw me and muttered to his wife about how sad it is some adults can't grow up and continue to wear their high school paraphernalia, constantly trying to relive their senior year. I am a senior. FML

by yeahno / 10/31/2010 at 12:10pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my dad and told him I was getting married in five months. His reply: "I gotta work that day." FML

by Kristinmarsh08 / 10/29/2010 at 8:02am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was seated in my section at work. As he sees me his face drops... he's on a date. He had forgotten I work there. I had to serve him and his date, and they didn't leave a tip. FML

by heshay / 10/28/2010 at 12:27am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

by sly / 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I went to the doctor's for the third time in a week for a huge growth under my jaw. I have seen an urgent care doctor, an emergency room doctor and an ear, nose and throat specialist who all gave me different diagnoses. I've so far spent $300. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2010 at 12:41am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I found myself crying in the bathroom because I started to feel lonely and depressed. My mother came into the bathroom, hearing me cry and gave me an hour long speech about what a beautiful human being I am... And to not forget to lose weight. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous