Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, after the firetruck and EMS came to my house for an emergency, I realized that not all firefighters looked like the ones in my calendar. This depressed me more than the emergency. FML

#6663069
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6090) - you deserved it (37586)

On 12/08/2009 at 10:11am - misc - by sad (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML

#6608304
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7541) - you deserved it (31637)

On 12/04/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by Wino (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a girl walking to class by herself. I thought she was weird for not having any friends to walk with. Thats when I realized I was eating lunch by myself. In my car. FML

#6583766
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10180) - you deserved it (37821)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got the repair estimate for my car. It is going to cost me $3,000 to rebuild the front end. It was wrecked because a couple decided to have a lovers spat in the middle of the freeway. I had that car for exactly four hours. FML

#6527838
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29929) - you deserved it (2359)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by Dante (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching my 7 year old daughter and her friend jump on our trampoline. I was really impressed by all the flips they were doing, and I told her "Hey! I can't even do that." To that her friend replied " Of course you can't. You're fat!" FML

#6443254
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33997) - you deserved it (7735)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:43am - kids - by madeyoulaugh (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML

#6436745
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41499) - you deserved it (3229)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by bmonehh (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend called me to come over because we "needed to talk." Going down the stairs, I tripped and fell. I woke up from unconsciousness with a hurting leg and my boyfriend standing over me. Just as I was about to smile and ask for a kiss, he said, "Maybe we should take a break" and left. FML

#6435138
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28907) - you deserved it (2872)

On 11/24/2009 at 11:08am - love - by Yes (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to put my 17 year old cat down. I cried the whole way up to the vet's office and back. After finally coming to terms with the situation, and trying to forget, my dad's friend walks up to me and says, "So, I heard you killed your cat?" FML

#6415288
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31996) - you deserved it (3410)

On 11/22/2009 at 11:30pm - love - by petlover (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting at lunch and started choking on a chip. I couldn't breathe and nobody tried to help me. Having to take matters into my own hands, I reached for a juice box that belonged to someone sitting next to me. After I could breathe again, they informed me that they had mono. FML

#6358488
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30508) - you deserved it (4215)

On 11/18/2009 at 7:19pm - health - by ohmigodimchokin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my water wouldn't go down my shower drain. Confused, I stuck a metal stick expecting hair, but instead stabbed and pulled up a rat that was dead in my drain. FML

#6349337
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34231) - you deserved it (2108)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML

#6322729
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18635) - you deserved it (36758)

On 11/16/2009 at 2:32am - love - by Manstobe92 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I stood in line for one hour to get a new phone. It then took me 2 minutes to drop it and shatter the screen, and 2 seconds for the employee to look at, laugh, and tell me, "That Sucks." FML

#6322699
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14946) - you deserved it (29539)

On 11/16/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by bananaface (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finished installing a brand new engine in my old car. It cost just over $6000. Later, I was waiting at a red light and an uninsured drunk driver smashed into it head on. It's completely totaled. I got to drive it 5 miles. The car is worth $1000, even with a new engine. FML

#6318319
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30200) - you deserved it (3954)

On 11/15/2009 at 9:59pm - money - by stupidoldcar (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: