FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, while in line at the waterpark, I looked down to find my 3 year old daughter chewing on a used band-aid. FML

by sarahfromthesouth / 06/08/2010 at 12:07pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend started to plan our wedding. He included a clown. FML

by soccerbooty / 06/07/2010 at 2:43am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML

by weirdesout / 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found out my sister has a nickname for me due to my recent breakouts. It's "volcano face". FML

by morgan_love11 / 06/04/2010 at 8:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, a four pound can of tuna fell on my head at work, and it burst all over my clothes. Since I'm the manager, I had to stay all day reeking of tuna. Now I'm home, my damn cat won't leave me alone. FML

by Alpheas / 05/30/2010 at 1:12am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, a few friends and I ran through sprinklers at our school until we were all soaked. Then we were told that they put fertilizer in the water. I'm soaked in manure. Now I know why it tasted weird. FML

by noraidk / 05/26/2010 at 2:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell down the stairs carrying a huge TV. Don't worry, my body cushioned the TV's fall. FML

by hatestomove / 05/26/2010 at 10:21am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

by kaylajere / 05/26/2010 at 4:17am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I learned my boyfriend has another girlfriend. His excuse is he's bipolar and each of his personalities needs a girlfriend. FML

by life sucks / 05/20/2010 at 1:12am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My cell phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML

by BigMouth McRedface / 05/13/2010 at 10:11pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I got my son's phone bill (the phone I got him to call us from college). I found out he's been calling a phone sex hotline everyday. He hasn't called us once. FML

by dannytriplet / 04/11/2010 at 2:34am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I finally realized that the only time my mother talks to me is when she needs money. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2010 at 1:18am / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, my boyfriend of more than two years told me in front of all of our friends that he'd trade me for some Playstation 3 games. I laughed it off because I thought he was kidding. He made it clear that he was serious. FML

by Girl / 03/17/2010 at 3:05am / United States (Texas) / Love