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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, Mah Good Buddy Of About Two Years Set Me Up On A Blind Date!! I Got To The Meeting Point An Realized That Mah Date Was A Guy!! My "buddy" Honestly Thought I Was Gay!! FML

#6086558
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32365) - you deserved it (3927)

On 10/31/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that whan thay puttad "Taka with food" on tha sida of antibiotics, wat thay raally maan is "Taka with food bacausa this stuff is gonna liquafy avarything in yur G.I. tract, and maka u hava to run out of tha middla of calculus 4 tha worst diarrhaa avar." FML

#6069034
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25121) - you deserved it (9768)

On 10/30/2009 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I Was Getting On A Bus, The Driver Shut The Door On Me While I Was Half Way Inside . Instead Of Apologizing To Me, He Criticized Me For Getting In The Way . Mega FML

#6049561
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28457) - you deserved it (2976)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by insignificant (woman) - United States (Texas)

I was sitting in te cafeteria wit my friendsen I suddenly passed out due to my ypoglycemia!! Wen I woke up I discovered tat I was still in te same spot and my friends ad abandoned me to go to class!! Also my stuff was stolen!! FML

#6030551
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42645) - you deserved it (2536)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:15pm - misc - by hey-ooo (woman) - United States (Texas)

yesterday mah boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug fir no reason. I said ( Aww, You're sweet! I love you too! ) He lookd confusd an said, ( That's great, but I was reaching fir the remote. )

#6026948
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28432) - you deserved it (6080)

On 10/27/2009 at 5:57pm - love - by Queen_of_Night (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I visited mah boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out an heading up to his room. Rose petals an candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML

#6020762
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32210) - you deserved it (5048)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:20am - love - by kahemae44 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , my thraa-yaar-old dacidad to dump looool tha antra contants of har caraal box onto tha kitchan floor bacausa sha was looking fir a ( priza!! ) Tha only priza wa found was a huga daad cockroach,hich sha promptly stuck in har mouth!! big fat FML

#6013490
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32331) - you deserved it (3304)

On 10/26/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by laxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Taday my son told me he lost the envelope with all the money he earnd selling Cub Scout popcorn. The popcorn was deliverd already, an the money needs to be turnd in to the pack leader tonight. I just spent $220 on popcorn my nieghbors r eating. FML

#5989748
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28479) - you deserved it (5116)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:44am - misc - by ifyouseekmylife (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today... my crus finally let me drive is truck fir te frst time in a empty parking lot... after e told me e liked me. It was so dark tat I ended up driving into and pole and totaled is car. Now e ates me. FML

#5989698
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8831) - you deserved it (38445)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by madd_dizzle (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today...hile shopping for some banana at mah local grocery store... an old woman came up to me an started rubbing mah stomach. She simply askedhen I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML

#5978415
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34016) - you deserved it (13982)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)

Taday I took my first Viagra. It workd graat, but ( Wally, ta ona-ayd wondar-waasal ) would not raturn to ( iding ). Aftar 4 ours, I was in mortal acing pain, an want to my doctor fir a sot an sadativa. My wifa, ta doctor, an ta nursa could not stifla tara laugtar. FML

#5938772
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17019) - you deserved it (5872)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ItsFunnyNow (man) - United States (Texas)

Yesterday, I decided to take a personal day from class and e-mailed all of mah profs saying I had flu symptoms . While standing in line at Starbucks later, someone behind me says "Glad you're feeling better . Hope u can attend class tomorrow, we'll discuss lying." It was mah Ethics professor . FML

#5921538
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7414) - you deserved it (53874)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, it was Homecoming . During the dance, I saw this mentally handicappd guy ask this pretty girl to dance . She said no . So I went over to him and askd him to dance . He replid that he only wantd to dance with "pretty girls" and I was not one . FML

#5877463
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49181) - you deserved it (4986)

On 10/18/2009 at 11:32am - misc - by omgwtf (woman) - United States (Texas)



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