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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, at a Christmas party, a cute girl was making a show of standing under some mistletoe. As I walked over, she quickly moved away in the opposite direction. FML

#21324253
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30330) - you deserved it (3925)

On 12/25/2014 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the kid who who lives next door and shares a bedroom wall with me got a drum set for Christmas. FML

#21323929
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31229) - you deserved it (2369)

On 12/25/2014 at 11:36am - kids - by BowTiesAr3Cool - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss sent me a text message saying, "You're fired. Merry Christmas!" FML

#21323895
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31534) - you deserved it (2418)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:25am - work - by CalebNotShomo - United States (Texas)

Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML

#21322769
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28120) - you deserved it (5551)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by wowdadreally (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, a customer cried because the cake I made her was not "exactly" the same as the display. I'm the one who made the display and it was the same but the display cake had faded a bit, since it had been there for a month. I'd mentioned this to the customer when she placed the order. FML

#21322284
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27604) - you deserved it (1833)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:21pm - work - by bakerysux - United States (Texas)

Today, it's the last night before a concert. Today is also the day my brother pawned my clarinet for drug money. FML

#21315391
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34239) - you deserved it (2373)

On 12/11/2014 at 12:44am - money - by noshow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my work department set a new sales record, something not done in nearly 30 years. It's corporate policy to give a bonus to each worker responsible as a reward. Our manager decided our "bonuses" would be plastic medals from Dollar Tree. He didn't even buy enough for everybody. FML

#21311945
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32474) - you deserved it (2216)

On 12/05/2014 at 10:44am - work - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37591) - you deserved it (3571)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking home with my mom, some unoriginal cockshart in a passing car yelled at me: "Fuck her in the pussy!" It was a long, awkward walk home after that. FML

#21308349
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30627) - you deserved it (2777)

On 11/29/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to a customer that 50% off a $50 item did not make the item free. FML

#21307823
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38252) - you deserved it (2512)

On 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm - misc - by idiots - United States (Texas)

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

#21302177
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30787) - you deserved it (5060)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:56pm - work - by bookworm - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend, who I've been living with for a year, and I were moving to another state at the end of the month. I told her in a restaurant, over lunch, where she then just got up and left me there without saying a word. FML

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33680) - you deserved it (6481)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)



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