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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML

#7512999
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23487) - you deserved it (2141)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:13am - health - by estallidos (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she suspected me of cheating. She thought I was cheating because she caught me sneaking out in the middle of the night. I was sneaking out to plan my proposal to her. FML

#7503398
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35262) - you deserved it (3595)

On 01/22/2010 at 5:41pm - love - by ponyboy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that my supervisor has been submitting completed projects to our manager on time for everyone on the team but me. She has been deliberately making it appear as though I am weeks behind on my projects, when in reality I am one of the first ones done every month. FML

#7453397
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31206) - you deserved it (1827)

On 01/20/2010 at 8:31am - work - by superscrewed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost my job because I was doing my work too quickly, getting too much done and the supervisor was afraid I was bored. I have only been here for 3 weeks and already had the best stats on the team. FML

#7445889
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28964) - you deserved it (1969)

On 01/19/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML

#7432728
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34880) - you deserved it (4083)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into Jamba Juice like I do every day. I decided to order something different than I usually do, and was flattered when the cashier recognized me. Then he switched places with another employee, and from the back room I hear "Hey, ugly's back again." FML

#7426136
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29035) - you deserved it (2724)

On 01/18/2010 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought a fake "wedding ring" at Target to play a prank on my parents. They kicked me out, saying my "fiancé" can take care of me now. There is no fiancé, and I just lost my job. FML

#7420544
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10205) - you deserved it (37506)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:12pm - love - by Crissylove10 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML

#7380749
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61950) - you deserved it (7084)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my smoke alarm went off. In a frenzy, I called 9-1-1 and exited my house. Several minutes later a fire truck showed up. After investigating, one of the firemen informed me I needed to change the batteries in my smoke alarm. FML

#7375995
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6289) - you deserved it (32373)

On 01/16/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by lollerskate (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my father yelled at me for changing 1 of his 2 programable seat positions in his car because he uses both. Apparently, 1 is for sober driving and 2 is for high/drunk driving. Go dad. FML

#7353049
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28016) - you deserved it (3247)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:24am - misc - by Goobie (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at a bar a woman of about 40 came up to me and asked me to dance, and being only 20 I thought I had met the perfect "cougar" for a one night stand. After a few up-beat dances, a slower song came on and we continued to dance. She started sobbing and claimed I was the son she never had. FML

#7334012
79 comments

Today, I found out that a water pipe at my work had burst over the weekend. There is absolutely no water in the building, including the bathrooms. It's a 9 hour day, and I took a laxative this morning before I came in. FML

#7276638
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23763) - you deserved it (9953)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:28am - work - by bs_happens (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25510) - you deserved it (32567)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)



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