FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, my boyfriend moved in with me. I just walked into my kitchen to find my thirty year-old, perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet completely submerged in soapy water in the sink, presumably from last night when he washed the dishes. FML

by miss_strauss / 01/25/2016 at 1:21pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at my retail job, I tried on one of our hats. My co-worker told me I shouldn't because I could get lice. I laughed it off and told her I didn't believe her. Man, do I believe her now. FML

by Anonymous / 01/20/2016 at 10:16pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I found out my father didn't have a rare brain disease, and that he was just an alcoholic. I've been taking care of him every time his "brain disease" acts up, for 2 years. FML

by blah / 01/19/2016 at 3:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally broke an expensive glass display shelf at work. My coworker joked, "Ooh, that's gonna come out of your paycheck!" My boss thought that was a great idea. FML

by 73012211 / 01/15/2016 at 3:21pm / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out my mom took around $2,500 from my savings account to pay off my sister's college tuition. She recently flunked out of her studies and won't be returning to college anyway. FML

by FuckedOver / 01/14/2016 at 9:31am / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML

by ShouldveStayedAVirgin / 01/13/2016 at 1:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my 70-year-old coworker managed to do something to our shared computer for it to not boot up. This is our 4th computer since we've been working together, and he refuses to believe that he's the problem. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2016 at 10:52am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2016 at 5:08am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2015 at 8:32am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I accidentally edged over the speed limit and got pulled over. The officer asked me if I knew why he'd pulled me over. Before I could say something diplomatic, my dad said from the passenger seat: "Because you're a prick in fancy dress?" I got ticketed. FML

by buttfingers / 12/26/2015 at 12:37pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I spent the holiday with my husband's big family. They suggested we take a family picture, but two people were purposely left out of it. I was one of them. FML

by leftout / 12/25/2015 at 12:51am / United States (Texas) / Holidays

Today, my family and I were going to my grandparents' for Christmas. As my car was totaled recently, I had to get a ride with them. They left without me in the time it took to put my shoes and socks on. FML

Today, I was listening to music on my phone and reading posts on here. I laughed hysterically at one, then noticed my parents shooting me outraged looks. Turned out I laughed while a news reporter was talking about a brutal rape that just happened in our city. FML

by for the whored / 12/18/2015 at 3:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous