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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I worked my boyfriend's shift so he could stay home. I even brought him the free meal I got for helping out. Turns out he wanted to stay home so badly to cheat on me. FML

#21362681
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37949) - you deserved it (2598)

On 02/24/2015 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by xxruby - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and still waitressing at a local restaurant. There were only 3 of us serving today and things were hectic. One guy bitched me out, saying "Maybe if you lost some weight you'd walk a little faster!" because I wasn't fast enough with his soup. FML

#21359797
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35262) - you deserved it (2398)

On 02/20/2015 at 12:56pm - work - by blahblah1993 - United States (Texas)

Today, my extremely hot coworker told me that I smelled good. At a complete loss for words, I replied, "Oh, I'm sure I don't." FML

#21359386
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27542) - you deserved it (4825)

On 02/19/2015 at 7:14pm - misc - by thisiswhyimavirgin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (246) - you deserved it (31941)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my best friend's brother after we drunkenly hooked up last night. I've had a crush on him for over a year. He ended up interrupting himself and said, "Please don't tell anyone about this. I don't want anyone to think we're dating or anything." FML

#21357951
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29438) - you deserved it (4978)

On 02/17/2015 at 10:48am - intimacy - by foreveralone - United States (Texas)

Today, while talking with my ex, I mentioned I was depressed about turning 40. He said he'd been depressed about turning 40 as well, until he started screwing hot 20-somethings. We were still together when he turned 40. FML

#21357283
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35394) - you deserved it (3761)

On 02/16/2015 at 11:39am - intimacy - by notdaddy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent an ungodly amount of money to send my long-distance boyfriend a giant bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day. A few hours after making the non-refundable payment, he let me know we weren't going to work out, and that he was already sleeping with someone else. FML

#21355292
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31938) - you deserved it (3782)

On 02/13/2015 at 11:13am - love - by cyprianista - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I beat her once again in a trivia game. She said that I was cheating, and if I was cheating on the game, I was definitely cheating on her as well. FML

#21354669
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33932) - you deserved it (3245)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:25am - love - by Vampire Teabag - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the only reason my parents want me to live with them is because of the tax refund. FML

#21353677
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29092) - you deserved it (2438)

On 02/10/2015 at 9:26pm - money - by Firewielder (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother called me, telling me how disappointed she was at how I let my room "become such a pigsty." I haven't lived there in three years. FML

#21352213
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28921) - you deserved it (1909)

On 02/08/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

#21351411
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27396) - you deserved it (5949)

On 02/07/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

#21351381
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49778) - you deserved it (4203)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

#21350749
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33904) - you deserved it (3430)

On 02/06/2015 at 2:06am - animals - by ZAnon - United States (Texas)



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