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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to celebrate our 4-year anniversary with a shadow box I had made for her of our memories over the years. I left her house single, with a small bag of "breakup candy." FML

Today, I went through an entire roll of toilet paper in just over an hour. You win this time, questionable pork souvlaki. FML

#21483925
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22649) - you deserved it (3547)

On 10/24/2015 at 7:46pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was grooming one of my horses, when she stepped on my foot. I yelled and frantically tried to push her away. She turned her head toward me and shifted the rest of her weight onto my foot. I'm in the hospital now. FML

Today, a customer at my coffee shop bitched me out because we don't sell cranberry juice. FML

#21483612
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21444) - you deserved it (1669)

On 10/23/2015 at 11:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting a 2 year old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me and started crying and stabbed me right in my foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML

#21478752
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21631) - you deserved it (2578)

On 10/11/2015 at 8:54pm - kids - by Some Guy - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking home after a night of partying, I saw a thin, bald person in a suit looking at me from across the street. I got flashbacks to the Slender Man, screamed like a little bitch and ran. Then I realized I'd just humiliated myself in front of some random guy waiting for a bus. FML

#21477518
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14902) - you deserved it (17529)

On 10/08/2015 at 12:04pm - work - by shitbucketsfilledwithshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML

#21477124
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33499) - you deserved it (1978)

On 10/07/2015 at 11:02am - intimacy - by T-Bear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized my sister has a yeast infection. How, you ask? Her tube of yeast infection cream and my tube of toothpaste look remarkably similar. I'm still trying to get the taste out of my mouth. FML

#21476896
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23289) - you deserved it (2990)

On 10/06/2015 at 5:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my company let me go after 3 months. A day before my wedding and with zero advance notice. FML

#21471386
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23745) - you deserved it (1481)

On 09/22/2015 at 9:24am - work - by ryu1356 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I got in a fight about which is better: Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. We aren't speaking. FML

Today, I accidentally fell asleep at work after working a 12-hour shift. Instead of waking me up, my coworkers spiked my coffee mug with whiskey and told my boss I was drunk. My boss wouldn't even listen to my side of the story and fired me. FML

#21470739
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25783) - you deserved it (2760)

On 09/20/2015 at 7:57pm - work - by person - United States (Texas)

Today, I sneezed so hard that I re-dislocated my shoulder. FML

#21470276
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22491) - you deserved it (1698)

On 09/19/2015 at 2:58pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was creeping on social media, I realized that literally everyone I've ever dated is either happily married, engaged, or in a relationship. My last date was at the beginning of the summer. FML

#21468977
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20799) - you deserved it (3646)

On 09/15/2015 at 10:10pm - love - by spinster - United States (Texas)



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