Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML

#21367600
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32637) - you deserved it (7078)

On 03/03/2015 at 9:35pm - misc - by notdrivinganytimesoon (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML

#21366058
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28042) - you deserved it (2490)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by smalltownkid - United States (Texas)

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

#21365201
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35205) - you deserved it (3122)

On 02/28/2015 at 11:23am - love - by great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was given my yearly evaluation as a cake decorator at Walmart. They said I "was easily the best decorator there" and "the bakery has definitely improved since I got there." In the same conversation they put "unsatisfactory" on my evaluation and denied my raise. FML

Today, I worked my boyfriend's shift so he could stay home. I even brought him the free meal I got for helping out. Turns out he wanted to stay home so badly to cheat on me. FML

#21362681
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37861) - you deserved it (2595)

On 02/24/2015 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by xxruby - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and still waitressing at a local restaurant. There were only 3 of us serving today and things were hectic. One guy bitched me out, saying "Maybe if you lost some weight you'd walk a little faster!" because I wasn't fast enough with his soup. FML

#21359797
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35249) - you deserved it (2398)

On 02/20/2015 at 12:56pm - work - by blahblah1993 - United States (Texas)

Today, my extremely hot coworker told me that I smelled good. At a complete loss for words, I replied, "Oh, I'm sure I don't." FML

#21359386
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27527) - you deserved it (4821)

On 02/19/2015 at 7:14pm - misc - by thisiswhyimavirgin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (210) - you deserved it (31843)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my best friend's brother after we drunkenly hooked up last night. I've had a crush on him for over a year. He ended up interrupting himself and said, "Please don't tell anyone about this. I don't want anyone to think we're dating or anything." FML

#21357951
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29381) - you deserved it (4975)

On 02/17/2015 at 10:48am - intimacy - by foreveralone - United States (Texas)

Today, while talking with my ex, I mentioned I was depressed about turning 40. He said he'd been depressed about turning 40 as well, until he started screwing hot 20-somethings. We were still together when he turned 40. FML

#21357283
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35335) - you deserved it (3755)

On 02/16/2015 at 11:39am - intimacy - by notdaddy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent an ungodly amount of money to send my long-distance boyfriend a giant bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day. A few hours after making the non-refundable payment, he let me know we weren't going to work out, and that he was already sleeping with someone else. FML

#21355292
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31913) - you deserved it (3779)

On 02/13/2015 at 11:13am - love - by cyprianista - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I beat her once again in a trivia game. She said that I was cheating, and if I was cheating on the game, I was definitely cheating on her as well. FML

#21354669
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33218) - you deserved it (3165)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:25am - love - by Vampire Teabag - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the only reason my parents want me to live with them is because of the tax refund. FML

#21353677
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29072) - you deserved it (2436)

On 02/10/2015 at 9:26pm - money - by Firewielder (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: