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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43637) - you deserved it (4760)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

#21265100
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34006) - you deserved it (10377)

On 09/25/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML

#21263128
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36974) - you deserved it (2975)

On 09/22/2014 at 1:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was reviewing for a major nursing school exam I have this week. I panicked because none of the material seemed familiar, and figured that I must've missed something during class and now had to catch up. After 4 hours, I finally realized that I'd been studying from the wrong textbook. FML

#21262757
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32241) - you deserved it (13867)

On 09/21/2014 at 10:12pm - misc - by IdiotNursingStudent (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45720) - you deserved it (12723)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

#21261532
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35353) - you deserved it (8598)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm - misc - by camerashyguy - United States (Texas)

Today, after politely reminding my husband to turn the bathroom light off after he's done, he did so. While I was on the toilet. FML

#21258522
57 comments

Today, I had an important oral report to deliver with a partner. Not only did he come in late and high, he pronounced Virginia as "Vagina" the whole way through. FML

#21257414
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38945) - you deserved it (3598)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:36am - misc - by Jamestown of Vagina (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

#21257293
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35042) - you deserved it (17779)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:29am - misc - by Nat - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my sister licks all the flavoring off Doritos and puts them back in the bag. FML

#21252905
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40577) - you deserved it (3154)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by UghDude (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

#21251580
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40289) - you deserved it (3351)

On 09/04/2014 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

#21249886
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35964) - you deserved it (3190)

On 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by s0728 - United States (Texas)

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51219) - you deserved it (5786)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)



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