FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I accidentally edged over the speed limit and got pulled over. The officer asked me if I knew why he'd pulled me over. Before I could say something diplomatic, my dad said from the passenger seat: "Because you're a prick in fancy dress?" I got ticketed. FML

by buttfingers / 12/26/2015 at 12:37pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I spent the holiday with my husband's big family. They suggested we take a family picture, but two people were purposely left out of it. I was one of them. FML

by leftout / 12/25/2015 at 12:51am / United States (Texas) / Holidays

Today, my family and I were going to my grandparents' for Christmas. As my car was totaled recently, I had to get a ride with them. They left without me in the time it took to put my shoes and socks on. FML

Today, I was listening to music on my phone and reading posts on here. I laughed hysterically at one, then noticed my parents shooting me outraged looks. Turned out I laughed while a news reporter was talking about a brutal rape that just happened in our city. FML

by for the whored / 12/18/2015 at 3:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my parents I was pregnant. They yelled at me until I started crying. I'm 31, married, and I have a good paying job. FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2015 at 8:59pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband came home from a six-month business trip. When I saw him, I hugged and kissed him. My grandma started calling me a slutty whore, and told us we were a disgrace to our family, while trying to hit him with her cane. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2015 at 11:04pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2015 at 3:24pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I finally received my first love letter. Too bad it was from the boy who lit me on fire two months ago. FML

by PerturbedStudent / 12/09/2015 at 6:42pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, someone finally got the guts to punch my extremely rude mother in the face. My wife. FML

by badbitch23 / 12/07/2015 at 6:21pm / United States (Texas) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML

by ygma / 12/01/2015 at 11:39am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2015 at 12:25am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, while shopping for Black Friday, I got in line, hoping to get an Xbox One. I spent so long mistakenly standing in line for the bathroom that the store had sold out by the time I realized my mistake. FML

by nitemastr15 / 11/27/2015 at 7:18pm / United States (Texas) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Love