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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

#21228488
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23433) - you deserved it (45274)

On 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm - misc - by ew - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend interrupted my proposal to take a selfie with the ice cream I had just bought her. She then said no. FML

#21227229
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56873) - you deserved it (6166)

On 08/02/2014 at 12:00am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML

#21224360
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39377) - you deserved it (4367)

On 07/30/2014 at 12:41am - love - by Humiliated & Heart-Broken - United States (Texas)

Today, I dyed a friend's hair dark brown. She assured me I didn't need gloves as the dye would wash off. It didn't. My shift as a server is in an hour and it looks like I've been working in a tire shop my whole life. Goodbye tips, hello angry customers not wanting me anywhere near their food. FML

#21222740
163 comments

Today, I found the iPod touch that my mother claimed was stolen at the mall a few years ago, lying on her bed, still logged in to her Facebook. Thanks, mom. FML

#21217252
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45437) - you deserved it (3932)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by d4rkxf0x - United States (Texas)

Today, I was helping out at my church. At lunchtime, a really cute guy my age walked over and told me I was pretty. I was flattered, until I turned around and saw his annoyed buddies handing him several dollar bills. FML

#21212865
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44891) - you deserved it (3676)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:45pm - money - by what people do for money - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

#21209385
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51782) - you deserved it (6444)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm - intimacy - by thedoc (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the public library for the first time ever. The librarian told me I couldn't get a library card because I had an outstanding balance of $130.00 from 1995. I was born in 1991. FML

#21204670
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49279) - you deserved it (4265)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by library book - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML

#21194001
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56540) - you deserved it (4075)

On 06/30/2014 at 5:06pm - love - by outoflove (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

#21188385
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37151) - you deserved it (25308)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Respect101 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML

#21185679
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46894) - you deserved it (5335)

On 06/23/2014 at 7:13pm - kids - by Anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my life is so boring that I started looking through my can of coins and sorting them out by year. The oldest coin I have is from 1963. FML

#21181414
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38397) - you deserved it (8257)

On 06/20/2014 at 1:05am - misc - by Gibbster_ (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, in a last ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML

#21176055
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45965) - you deserved it (4318)

On 06/15/2014 at 10:21pm - work - by Godhelpme (man) - United States (Texas)



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