Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML

#21419654
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23830) - you deserved it (4587)

On 06/02/2015 at 11:23am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML

#21417917
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32473) - you deserved it (2831)

On 05/30/2015 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that a classmate and I have the same glasses. To prove it, I tried bending his glasses, since mine are flexible and can bend. I snapped his glasses in half. FML

#21417809
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12365) - you deserved it (35452)

On 05/29/2015 at 10:31pm - misc - by smartass - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

#21410748
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32639) - you deserved it (2388)

On 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML

#21410138
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30151) - you deserved it (4215)

On 05/14/2015 at 6:17pm - love - by what even - United States (Texas)

Today, on my first driving lesson, I crashed my instructor's car. I didn't even make it out of the parking lot. FML

#21407296
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23526) - you deserved it (9739)

On 05/09/2015 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

#21406460
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30927) - you deserved it (8081)

On 05/07/2015 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by Bonnie and Clyde - United States (Texas)

Today, after waking up in a panic because I was running late for work again, I realized I was fired for that exact reason the day before. FML

#21404798
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15820) - you deserved it (26938)

On 05/04/2015 at 10:08pm - work - by Jobless in Seattle - United States (Texas)

Today, after waiting for 2 weeks for the right moment to meet my boyfriend's mom, she walked in as I was straddling him, trying to prove that I'd win in a wrestling match. I guess we met, then. FML

#21401631
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26093) - you deserved it (3586)

On 04/29/2015 at 7:11am - love - by xxlenalunaxx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML

#21401449
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27796) - you deserved it (2367)

On 04/28/2015 at 10:43pm - animals - by simple living - United States (Texas)

Today, due to awkward circumstances, I am living with my ex-girlfriend and her new girlfriend. FML

Today, I learned that, when you ask your girlfriend "Do you think we're having sex too often?" she might interpret it as, "I don't think we should have sex ever again," and entirely stop talking to you. FML

#21398912
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24070) - you deserved it (10769)

On 04/24/2015 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Sexless from Texas - United States (Texas)

Today, my prom dress came in the mail. I don't know what happened with the tailoring but not only does it not fit, but it also looks like deli meat. FML

#21396978
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24510) - you deserved it (2917)

On 04/20/2015 at 5:41pm - misc - by Deli meat prom - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: