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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML

#21510100
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20072) - you deserved it (2133)

On 01/01/2016 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML

#21509323
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17799) - you deserved it (2560)

On 12/30/2015 at 8:32am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally edged over the speed limit and got pulled over. The officer asked me if I knew why he'd pulled me over. Before I could say something diplomatic, my dad said from the passenger seat: "Because you're a prick in fancy dress?" I got ticketed. FML

#21508071
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21931) - you deserved it (1965)

On 12/26/2015 at 12:37pm - money - by buttfingers (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent the holiday with my husband's big family. They suggested we take a family picture, but two people were purposely left out of it. I was one of them. FML

#21507511
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20706) - you deserved it (1533)

On 12/25/2015 at 12:51am - misc - by leftout - United States (Texas)

Today, my family and I were going to my grandparents' for Christmas. As my car was totaled recently, I had to get a ride with them. They left without me in the time it took to put my shoes and socks on. FML

Today, I was listening to music on my phone and reading posts on here. I laughed hysterically at one, then noticed my parents shooting me outraged looks. Turned out I laughed while a news reporter was talking about a brutal rape that just happened in our city. FML

#21505195
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22489) - you deserved it (2988)

On 12/18/2015 at 3:46pm - misc - by for the whored (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my parents I was pregnant. They yelled at me until I started crying. I'm 31, married, and I have a good paying job. FML

#21504934
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28871) - you deserved it (1804)

On 12/17/2015 at 8:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband came home from a six-month business trip. When I saw him, I hugged and kissed him. My grandma started calling me a slutty whore, and told us we were a disgrace to our family, while trying to hit him with her cane. FML

#21504229
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23589) - you deserved it (1469)

On 12/15/2015 at 11:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML

#21502633
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19893) - you deserved it (4205)

On 12/11/2015 at 3:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally received my first love letter. Too bad it was from the boy who lit me on fire two months ago. FML

#21501998
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20865) - you deserved it (1502)

On 12/09/2015 at 6:42pm - love - by PerturbedStudent (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, someone finally got the guts to punch my extremely rude mother in the face. My wife. FML

Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML

#21498905
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24797) - you deserved it (2586)

On 12/01/2015 at 11:39am - misc - by ygma - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML

#21497686
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22242) - you deserved it (1807)

On 11/28/2015 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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