FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, while on break from work, I went to the cafeteria and bought cheese cubes. One of my coworkers, who is usually very pleasant, asked to try some and I said yes. She ate all the cheddar cubes in the bowl, which are the only ones I like. I wasted $3 for someone else to eat my food. FML

by IJustWantedCheez / 09/27/2016 at 1:37pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was talking with a very attractive co-worker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as the moth lady. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2016 at 12:13am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I met a friend I hadn't seen in forever. After talking for a while, he says "I knew there was a reason I stopped talking to you." FML

by XRayXLopez1 / 09/19/2016 at 11:31pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML

by TexasGirl24 / 09/10/2016 at 8:51am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my brother's high school was having a soccer game against mine, and as a sign of good luck, I told him to "break a leg". He broke mine. FML

by Ihatemyfamily / 09/05/2016 at 5:46pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I handed in my 2 weeks notice, since I have to leave for college soon. My boss told me it was fine, then cut all my remaining shifts. FML

by ohwell / 09/01/2016 at 1:49pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I met my new upstairs neighbors and their 4 kids all under the age of 6. I met them due to all the thudding upstairs. FML

by pacelily / 08/30/2016 at 4:32pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got food poisoning in the middle of the wilderness while hiking in a state park with my husband. I had to tend to nature several times before we reached our car. The only supplies I had was a bottle of water and a laminated trail map. It was part of an anniversary trip. How romantic. FML

by lkvetched / 08/30/2016 at 1:23pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I realized after turning in my resume to over 100 job openings over the past month, that the resume I've been submitting does not have my phone number or any other contact information besides my name. FML

by KayIsKiwi99 / 08/29/2016 at 3:00pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was motivated enough to run on the treadmill for the first time in a long time. The movement knocked my downstairs neighbor's ceiling fan down. FML

by meglast / 08/29/2016 at 12:48pm / United States (Texas) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after months of eating lunch with my best friend, going to Barnes and Noble, and having to poop while I was there, I realized I've trained myself to have to poop every single time I step into a Barnes and Noble. FML

by nes0385 / 08/27/2016 at 12:06pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It wouldn't be so bad if we weren't stuck rooming together for the rest of a semester that hasn't even started yet. FML

by outofluckatcollege / 08/27/2016 at 3:33am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my new supervisor arrived after my old one had transferred away and we had a quick evaluation meeting. As it turns out, I'm not actually a good employee like I thought. I just had a shitty boss who didn't care enough to let me know I wasn't meeting company standards. FML

by UnderAcheiver / 08/26/2016 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Work