FMLs submitted from Tennessee

Today, my fiancé threatened to break up with me if our dog couldn't be the best man at our wedding. FML

by anonymous / 04/26/2015 at 9:35am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "God" told her to. I guess "God" didn't have any problems with me buying dinner first. FML

by wil / 04/25/2015 at 1:55pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, my nurse girlfriend told me she's more attracted to the veins in my arm than any other part of me. FML

by veiny / 04/21/2015 at 9:48am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, while walking my dog, I opened my mouth to yawn. A wasp took the opportunity to fly into my mouth and announce its presence by stinging my tongue. FML

by lovinlife028 / 04/10/2015 at 11:08am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

by usadisvet / 04/02/2015 at 2:43am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

by cherokeems / 03/26/2015 at 1:44pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. The first thing he did was hand me a paper containing listed rules he expects me to follow. When I asked if it was a joke, he promptly pointed to number 7 on the list, "Cleanliness is not a joke". FML

by mukduk / 03/16/2015 at 8:26am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was told that I need to learn to "let things go" by a woman who held a four-month grudge over a ham sandwich. FML

by NoHamForMeThanks / 03/08/2015 at 10:36pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

by FreshDonuts / 02/28/2015 at 12:03am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the mall with some friends. We all kept smelling this god awful B.O. smell and had no idea where it was coming from. On the car ride home, we all figured out it was actually me. FML

by cooploops / 01/31/2015 at 10:13am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2015 at 7:16pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, my mom and step-dad tore my room apart looking for the stash of drugs they thought I had. I've never touched drugs in my life, and I guess they believe me now. Didn't stop them from making me clean up the mess they made, though. FML

by tokinallday / 01/02/2015 at 2:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shocked to notice that my hair has started growing out entirely silver, supposedly due to pregnancy. I'm 19. Apparently, according to my aunt, "It runs in the family." FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2014 at 5:41am / United States (Tennessee) / Health