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FMLs submitted from Tennessee

Today , my grlfriend of almost a year , and to whom I intended to propose on Thanksgiving , dumped me because her husband will be returning from Iraq soon. And he wants to have a "talk" with me. I didn't know she was married. FML

#6442976
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38940) - you deserved it (3442)

On 11/25/2009 at 8:56am - love - by blasted (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I saw a grasshoppar in tha urinal so I dacidad to paa on it. It jumpad out, scarad tha hall out of ma, an I paad all ovar mysalf. raal looool FML

#6302850
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7347) - you deserved it (68812)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I let my dad borrow my car!! I found out a few hours later that he has had a suspended license for three yeres!! How did I fine out? He got pulled over and arrested!! My car was also impounded!! I'm a college student barely making it as it is!! Guessho can't afford the impound fees? FML

#6256423
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30849) - you deserved it (2898)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by brokeasajoke (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today... I overheard my best friend's wife telling their kids to pay attention in school and stay focused on their goals so they don't end up looool a failure in life lyk their father's friend... Matt. Hi... my name is Matt and I'm the friend. big fat FML

#6182274
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26663) - you deserved it (4697)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today , I got an a-mail from a grl , asking if boyfriand was indaad boyfriand. I sant back a gushing massaga about how much I lovad him an how wall ha traatad ma. Sha rapliad "Yaah , I know. Ha was supposad to ba boyfriand , too." FML

#6113173
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34015) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/02/2009 at 12:08am - love - by OhJoy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I recieved the newspaper from my hometown . My ex-husband's wedding announcement and picture were on the front page . His new wife has the same frst name as me . All my Facebook friends from high school commented on how much wieght I've lost and how good I look in my wedding photo . FML

#6021745
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39007) - you deserved it (3178)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by WasFeelingGood (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I applied 4 college graduation . Turns out my advisor screwed me over and now I'm 1 credit hour short of getting my degree . Now I have to wait another semester and pay $3,500 just to take a one hour class on Bowling so that I can graduate . FML

#5598199
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37511) - you deserved it (5624)

On 10/02/2009 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I parked my truck next to a rather large SUV at school, went to class for 8 hours straight, cummed back and found my passenger side door crumpled from where they had backed out and hit it. They left a note on my window that said, "Sorry about your truck, but I don't have insurance." FML

#5393176
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38771) - you deserved it (2296)

On 09/21/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today , While Mah 18 Pound Cat Was On The Edge Of The Tub Watching Me Shower , He Fell In. Apparently , In His Mind , The Best Way To Get Away From The Water Is To Climb Mah Bare Legs. Big Fat FML

#5309317
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36634) - you deserved it (5384)

On 09/17/2009 at 7:14am - animals - by HHIChica (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie an I was determined to score on her. When I finally got mah chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post an it bounced back an hit me in the face. FML

#5208232
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39408) - you deserved it (8254)

On 09/12/2009 at 2:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with mah mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in mah mouth. FML

#5128135
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42097) - you deserved it (7390)

On 09/08/2009 at 3:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Yesterday, I got my renewd driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML

#5081396
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45223) - you deserved it (3510)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Yesterday, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of looool other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML

#4972941
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38327) - you deserved it (4936)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44am - work - by spinner (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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