FMLs submitted from Tennessee

Today, while working the drive-thru at work, an older woman asked for my phone number to give to her single son. After I politely declined, she called me a slut and threw her food at me through the window before promptly speeding off. FML

by anonymous / 06/15/2016 at 2:18am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I lost the 5 pounds I had gained over the last few weeks. I had vowed to do whatever it took to lose that weight, and I actually did, when I caught a horrible stomach bug. I'd eat my words, but I'm pretty sure I'd just end up throwing them up. FML

by TPelekakis / 06/08/2016 at 1:01pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I think I met the one. I had the best date ever. We played mini golf and talked about all the things we had in common. After sharing a kiss, I said goodbye, with the promise to meet up again. Too bad he forgot to mention he was moving to Texas the next day. FML

by SadlySally / 06/01/2016 at 1:54pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML

by Roostermann25 / 05/30/2016 at 9:34pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got put in a speech impediment class because apparently I have a lisp. No, my tongue is just swollen, and I can't talk very well because of it. I've talked normally for the past 17 years. FML

by anonymous / 05/23/2016 at 11:41pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I got a call from the head of my school dance committee saying that the dance was cancelled and the services originally hired were still expecting to be paid. The reason the dance got cancelled? One of the girls on the committee's parents wouldn't let her buy her dream dress. FML

by Depressed / 05/17/2016 at 7:16pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML

by emancipate me / 05/15/2016 at 3:59pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was food shamed by my boyfriend in front of an entire restaurant and his parents because my meal cost more than his. His mom chimed in saying her meal usually costs more than his step dad's too and not to be upset. I'm 8 months pregnant, of course mine costs more. FML

by Preggo / 05/14/2016 at 1:11pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

by captainuniverse / 05/14/2016 at 1:53am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I've been single for so long, I got butterflies when I went on a date. A date with a character in Grand Theft Auto. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2016 at 6:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, my class had a paint war to celebrate our upcoming graduation. I had a severe allergic reaction to the paint and now I'm covered in giant red splotches everywhere. FML

by readytograduate / 05/06/2016 at 11:22am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned that for the next two months I'll get to train physicians on how to use the computer program that has made my job obsolete. I've known this program was coming for months, but I didn't know it would be taking my job. FML

by jessiethebestie / 05/05/2016 at 1:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, as usual, I went to pick up my brother and sister from school in the rain. When we got to my truck, I realized I had locked us out. We had to walk home in the rain, only to find the spare house key had not been put back in its spot since the last time it was used. FML

by Gimmie a spare / 04/19/2016 at 4:45pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous