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FMLs submitted from Tennessee

Today, I found out that the medicine I've been taking for my headaches is responsible for my headaches getting even worse. FML

Today, my 82-year-old great grandfather informed me that his "peeter" still works, and that most guys his age can't say the same. FML

#21454592
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21069) - you deserved it (1575)

On 08/11/2015 at 12:20am - intimacy - by yamaha_313 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that you can ruin a $500 computer with a few stray drops of 100% acetone nail polish remover on the keyboard. FML

#21452034
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12345) - you deserved it (20119)

On 08/05/2015 at 12:37am - misc - by just wanted nice nails - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was so incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML

#21443212
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12500) - you deserved it (37897)

On 07/17/2015 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my grandpa saw one of the paintings in the guest room at my house. "What the fuck?" he snorted, then said whoever painted it should "stick to their damn day job". I painted it. FML

#21443043
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23654) - you deserved it (2407)

On 07/17/2015 at 1:50pm - misc - by is cum a fruit or a vegetable? (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I received a break-up text while in a cramped car with my whole family. I had to choke back tears as we got stuck in traffic with the radio playing one love song after another. FML

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

#21437326
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26842) - you deserved it (3220)

On 07/06/2015 at 11:14am - intimacy - by BrittUnicorn - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML

#21432396
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26900) - you deserved it (2748)

On 06/26/2015 at 4:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, we had customer complaints of a child molester hanging around our restaurant. After confrontation by a manager, he wouldn't leave. I had to be walked to my car after my shift by more than one person because I look 12 and they were afraid for me. I'm almost 19. FML

#21430929
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25631) - you deserved it (1976)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:23pm - work - by ilook12 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my fiancé threatened to break up with me if our dog couldn't be the best man at our wedding. FML

#21399911
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32366) - you deserved it (6393)

On 04/26/2015 at 9:35am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "God" told her to. I guess "God" didn't have any problems with me buying dinner first. FML

#21399506
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30184) - you deserved it (2650)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:55pm - love - by wil - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my nurse girlfriend told me she's more attracted to the veins in my arm than any other part of me. FML

#21397356
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29307) - you deserved it (3550)

On 04/21/2015 at 9:48am - love - by veiny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while walking my dog, I opened my mouth to yawn. A wasp took the opportunity to fly into my mouth and announce its presence by stinging my tongue. FML



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