FMLs submitted from Tennessee

Today, I got put in a speech impediment class because apparently I have a lisp. No, my tongue is just swollen, and I can't talk very well because of it. I've talked normally for the past 17 years. FML

by anonymous / 05/23/2016 at 11:41pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I got a call from the head of my school dance committee saying that the dance was cancelled and the services originally hired were still expecting to be paid. The reason the dance got cancelled? One of the girls on the committee's parents wouldn't let her buy her dream dress. FML

by Depressed / 05/17/2016 at 7:16pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML

by emancipate me / 05/15/2016 at 3:59pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was food shamed by my boyfriend in front of an entire restaurant and his parents because my meal cost more than his. His mom chimed in saying her meal usually costs more than his step dad's too and not to be upset. I'm 8 months pregnant, of course mine costs more. FML

by Preggo / 05/14/2016 at 1:11pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

by captainuniverse / 05/14/2016 at 1:53am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I've been single for so long, I got butterflies when I went on a date. A date with a character in Grand Theft Auto. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2016 at 6:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, my class had a paint war to celebrate our upcoming graduation. I had a severe allergic reaction to the paint and now I'm covered in giant red splotches everywhere. FML

by readytograduate / 05/06/2016 at 11:22am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned that for the next two months I'll get to train physicians on how to use the computer program that has made my job obsolete. I've known this program was coming for months, but I didn't know it would be taking my job. FML

by jessiethebestie / 05/05/2016 at 1:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, as usual, I went to pick up my brother and sister from school in the rain. When we got to my truck, I realized I had locked us out. We had to walk home in the rain, only to find the spare house key had not been put back in its spot since the last time it was used. FML

by Gimmie a spare / 04/19/2016 at 4:45pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, for the first time, I made a guy get a boner and make out with me. This would've been great if it hadn't been a dream, and if the guy in question hadn't been my brother. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 11:48am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my mom complaining to her friends about her uncontrollable queefing problem. Excuse me while I find a therapist. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2016 at 1:13pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time, the one day my period came early. He thought it was a sign from God and thinks we're going to hell. FML

by anonymous / 03/25/2016 at 6:19pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I spent all day doing a project for myself and then for a friend who's sick. Turned out it was a prank everyone in the class was pulling on me. I missed a baseball game because of it. FML

by angrystudent / 03/07/2016 at 5:47pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work