FMLs submitted from Tennessee

Today, I was babysitting, and the family dog was unable to move, so I had texted the mother about it. We put the small dog on the couch to make it comfortable while the mother was on her way to get the dog and take it to the vet. Turns out, we sat with a dead dog for about ten minutes. FML

by anonymous / 10/13/2016 at 11:46pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, after creating a swear jar for my son, I came back to find a $20 bill in it and him saying, "How much does that buy?" FML

by padre74 / 10/03/2016 at 1:31pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I got pulled over, not because I was speeding but because apparently, I looked like a kid driving. The officer said I was too short to drive and needed a booster seat. FML

by ashleighsheba / 09/27/2016 at 12:43pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I tried to sneakily leave my boyfriend's house at 3 a.m. without his parents knowing. I had a flat tire. FML

by nekal / 09/21/2016 at 12:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, my bitch of a boss sent out a group text saying she'd had a chainsaw accident and lost the tips of 4 of her fingers and would be out indefinitely. When I told my boyfriend, his immediate response was to grab my phone and reply "I'm stumped, I don't know what to say." She hasn't responded yet. FML

by 4fingerdiscount / 09/13/2016 at 7:07am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, my mother and I were watching a movie. She got up to go to bed, and I blurted out, "Please don't leave me." Her response: "You really need a boyfriend." FML

by shrek / 08/29/2016 at 6:26am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I gave birth to my first born child. Somehow, my mom and mother in law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother in law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML

by Lennyr / 08/28/2016 at 2:36am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, a pharmacist slut-shamed me for taking birth control. I'm still a virgin, and I only take those pills to help with my acne and period cramps. FML

by CyberPsycho / 08/19/2016 at 4:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I admitted to my girlfriend that I had cheated on her. She didn't tell or get mad, oh no. She looked at me for a few seconds then burst out laughing and called me a liar. FML

by whoops / 08/15/2016 at 12:07am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML

by what sex life? / 08/02/2016 at 2:26am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the eye doctor with my little brother. There were only three chairs and one was occupied by a woman. I sat at the far end, but as soon as I sat down, I heard my little brother yell out loud, "I DON'T WANT TO SIT NEXT TO THE FAT LADY!" FML

by reallydevonte / 08/01/2016 at 1:30pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I noticed quite a few scars on one of my coworker's legs. I pulled her aside and told her that self-harm was never the answer, and if she needed to talk I was always there. Turns out she's just clumsy and trips a lot. FML

by CyberPsycho / 07/28/2016 at 12:24pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I got a call from a job I had applied for. Everything went great until I realized I had applied to the wrong location, across town. I'm so broke, I went to the interview anyway. It will cost me more to pay for the gas to drive there to work, than what I will actually make. FML

by wellfuck / 07/15/2016 at 7:04pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work