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FMLs submitted from Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

#21482104
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24841) - you deserved it (10885)

On 10/20/2015 at 6:13am - love - by bubblewrap (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML

#20883504
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45372) - you deserved it (5718)

On 09/16/2013 at 7:09am - love - by Kit (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I was telling my brother about how my new colleagues and I don't share a sense of humour. He replied, "What, you mean they don't pretend to laugh at your jokes like everybody else?" FML

#20864858
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36366) - you deserved it (5775)

On 09/02/2013 at 5:40pm - work - by laughing-stock - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML

#20661009
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45283) - you deserved it (3265)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I failed my driving test. The examiner insisted I that didn't check a junction before pulling out. I did, he just didn't notice because he was too busy staring at my chest. FML

#13535807
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34282) - you deserved it (5078)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, the boy I have crush on at school announced that his family were moving to Australia. My friend thought that it would be funny to spread a rumour that I was moving too, in order to follow him. Everyone has heard it, and unfortunately everyone believes it, including him. FML

#5308714
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39363) - you deserved it (5360)

On 09/17/2009 at 5:23am - love - by FirmlyInEngland (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they actually called up. FML

#2990758
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22593) - you deserved it (46066)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Jessey (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

#1427967
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17361) - you deserved it (59716)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)



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