FMLs submitted from St. Helens

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML

by maleficunt / 06/03/2014 at 4:44pm / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Work

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

by Derp McShitstain / 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Health

Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming at me for being a slut for having a baby so young. She got so worked up that she started swearing. Not only was I just babysitting for a friend, I am unable to get the toddler to stop swearing. FML

by QuicksilverMaximoff / 01/30/2011 at 9:46am / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Kids

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating so I broke up with him. As revenge he threw my PS3 and XBox out of the window when I wasn't in our house. I got those consoles out of the spare money my three jobs had brought in - the same three jobs I had to get because he refused to get a job of his own. FML

by GamerGirl / 01/30/2010 at 10:17am / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Love

Today, I rang my dad to tell him and my half-sister that I'm finally engaged. I then asked my half-sister to tell my stepmother. Still on speaker, I heard her run upstairs and pass the good news on. My stepmother responded with 'Cery who?', followed by 'So what? I can't stand her'. I'm Cery. FML

by ThatCery / 01/16/2010 at 11:29am / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I watched Juno. When the baby is born in the film, I put my arm around my girlfriend and whispered in her ear that one day it could be us having a baby. She responded by punching me in the happy sacks and telling me I wasn't getting any from her in a long time. FML

by Ouch / 10/21/2009 at 5:55pm / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Intimacy

Today, it's my first wedding anniversary, or Paper anniversary. I got him airline tickets for an expensive weekend break for two in Berlin. He got me a toilet roll. FML

by Andrexwife / 07/31/2009 at 3:03am / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Love