FMLs submitted from South Carolina

Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2011 at 3:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

by wastedbaby / 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health

Today, I got all dressed up to go on a date with a guy. Upon getting to my house to pick me up, he told me he'd forgot to put on mascara, and asked if he could borrow some. FML

by wowohwow / 06/23/2011 at 12:24am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I spent an hour setting up a delicate display stand at work. Not five minutes later, a woman barged in with her little kid, who immediately went up to the display and tipped the whole thing over. When I called attention to the mother, she just scoffed, "Isn't this your job?" and left. FML

by NoRespect / 05/22/2011 at 3:50pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 11:06am / United States (South Carolina) / Kids

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2011 at 11:12pm / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my mom and dad got a divorce. They didn't tell me, they just changed their relationship status on Facebook. FML

by carolinagirl / 04/04/2011 at 12:23pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health

Today, I got my phone fixed and the lady who was working on it somehow resent all the old text messages in my outbox. One was to my ex saying "I love you." FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2011 at 9:53pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cop laughed at me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 8:29am / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, I finally moved all my boxes into my new apartment. I was settling in when my alarm clock that was stashed in one of the boxes began ringing. Two hours and several boxes later, I still can't find it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 4:26pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

by anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 4:11am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I hit my boss's car. It's only my second day on the job. FML

by iswearicandrive / 12/17/2010 at 12:14am / United States (South Carolina) / Work