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FMLs submitted from South Carolina

Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML

#20527434
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28005) - you deserved it (5974)

On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML

#20510592
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43951) - you deserved it (7824)

On 02/17/2013 at 10:50am - love - by Cheyennereed - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my maid of honor, who offered to take care of my wedding dress before the D-Day, left it near her open window during heavy rain. My dress is now ruined, and she's backed out due to stress. I'm supposed to be getting married tomorrow. FML

#20503604
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30455) - you deserved it (3037)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:41pm - misc - by Meaghan (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

#20465397
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30366) - you deserved it (2001)

On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

#20156290
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17497) - you deserved it (2789)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

#20026176
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22121) - you deserved it (714)

On 08/17/2012 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my fiancé told me that he was having second thoughts on our engagement. Instead of just calling it off, he took me to a fancy restaurant and took a public poll on whether we should get married. The majority said no. FML

#20003754
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24817) - you deserved it (1833)

On 08/05/2012 at 9:20am - love - by exfiancee (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I called the cops to let them know that a drunk man was driving dangerously down my road. About an hour later, I was going to the store and got pulled over for speeding by the cop I called. FML

#19943890
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6871) - you deserved it (29202)

On 07/16/2012 at 2:04am - misc - by SCdriver (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I finally got enough money to buy the car I wanted for a year now. It was stolen today too. I had my car for 4 hours. FML

#19847645
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30624) - you deserved it (2066)

On 06/25/2012 at 10:55pm - money - by stolen-car - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I received the photos my friend took of me proposing to my girlfriend. I'd proposed at the place we'd first met: the local zoo. When I looked them over, I noticed there was an elephant taking a poop in the background. FML

#19792340
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21131) - you deserved it (3616)

On 06/15/2012 at 1:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I didn't even bother to turn my cellphone off in a movie theater because I knew no one would text me or call. FML

#19661266
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22567) - you deserved it (3999)

On 05/22/2012 at 7:02am - misc - by Rick - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

#19607447
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10685) - you deserved it (18495)

On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

#19401263
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12203) - you deserved it (20603)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm - kids - by potatoebee - United States (South Carolina)



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