Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from South Australia

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

#19226146
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34624) - you deserved it (3010)

On 03/06/2012 at 6:50am - health - by FootyFoot (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my cat vomited violently. I can smell it but I can't find it. FML

#18520750
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29460) - you deserved it (3009)

On 12/15/2011 at 4:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my husband declined a $100k/year job due to him thinking that a full time job at one work place would be too 'depressing'. I'm a nurse and have to wipe other people's arses for a living, then come home to this lazy dick. FML

#17416952
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45055) - you deserved it (8173)

On 08/09/2011 at 9:48am - work - by Lauren - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my new mailbox key finally arrived. Not at the front door as I requested, but in the mailbox. FML

#17211287
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36620) - you deserved it (2688)

On 07/22/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by MailMaster (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML

#17207646
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30374) - you deserved it (15042)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML

#16796718
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9528) - you deserved it (32552)

On 06/22/2011 at 9:31am - misc - by youknowwhatitis - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was on my way home on my bike when a lady in a 4WD cut me off while beeping her horn and calling me a "stupid f**ker who should get a proper education." In her car, she was smoking, and her three children weren't wearing seat belts. FML

#15661688
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36126) - you deserved it (3159)

On 04/06/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by faza4327 (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was patting my kitten who was asleep underneath the blanket on my lap. My roommate walked in and gave me disgusted look. She thought I was playing with myself. FML

#13624722
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24043) - you deserved it (5994)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:00am - intimacy - by djoe - Australia (South Australia)

Today, it's my birthday, and the only person that called me was my boss. He wants me to cover his shift tonight. FML

#13448275
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33007) - you deserved it (2795)

On 10/14/2010 at 6:10pm - work - by unloved - Australia (South Australia)

Today, while tearfully telling my closest friends that I had miscarried my first pregnancy, the first thing out of their mouths was, 'So, does this mean you're going to start drinking with us again?' FML

#13071693
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38186) - you deserved it (3969)

On 09/16/2010 at 6:59am - kids - by mommymo (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

#12898898
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16956) - you deserved it (31910)

On 09/04/2010 at 7:02am - intimacy - by Lewis - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I had a weird dream I woke up on the bathroom floor at my local gym. Turns out it wasn't a dream, and I passed out from "overworking myself". I was on the treadmill for under 5 minutes, walking. FML

#10834271
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25012) - you deserved it (13343)

On 05/29/2010 at 1:28am - misc - by crashingdown - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was having an in depth discussion with my girlfriends father about how corrupt journalists are and how our town's paper is the worst paper on the planet. After insulting basically everything about the newspaper, I asked him what he did for a living. He's the editor of the newspaper. FML

#9130183
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13192) - you deserved it (43783)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:00pm - misc - by annonoymus - Australia (South Australia)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: