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FMLs submitted from South Australia

Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML

#21522391
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18684) - you deserved it (1226)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was knocked unconscious by the 10 year-old I was babysitting because it was his younger sister's bedtime and he didn't want her to go. When I came to, their mother was screaming at me for sleeping on the job. In the middle of the kitchen floor. I lost a job and gained a killer headache. FML

#21516384
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20913) - you deserved it (1364)

On 01/17/2016 at 8:48pm - kids - by kids shouldnt have hard sports equipment (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, a friend who visited me a week ago with "allergy rashes" told me that it's actually scabies, and she hopes I didn't catch it from her. It takes 2-6 weeks for the symptoms to show and I can't use the medication for it anyway because I'm pregnant. FML

#21510846
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21907) - you deserved it (1330)

On 01/03/2016 at 12:52am - health - by itchyyet - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML

#21507419
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20221) - you deserved it (1936)

On 12/24/2015 at 6:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my sister shaved a chunk of my hair off while I was sleeping. I'm getting married in three days. FML

#21504961
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24266) - you deserved it (1456)

On 12/17/2015 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my daughter asked me if we could adopt a child. I said no, since we can't afford to support another child. She then asked me if she could just adopt another dad instead. FML

#21504401
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20361) - you deserved it (1980)

On 12/16/2015 at 10:28am - kids - by anon (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was using a wooden toothpick to try to get at some food that was firmly lodged between my teeth. The toothpick broke and now I also have a splinter of wood jammed in there too. FML

Today, while working alone, I decided to just try some random impressions, and so I ended up doing a French accent when a customer walked in. To avoid embarrassment, I had to continue faking the accent as he struck up a long conversation with me. FML

#21470038
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21768) - you deserved it (7987)

On 09/18/2015 at 9:56pm - work - by Joshua Sheldon (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, while I was at home watching Netflix, my parents drunkenly stumbled through the door making out the whole time. I thought that the situation couldn't get worse, but then my Dad asked me if I had a condom they could use. FML

Today, I saw my boss heading my way at work. He has a "no food in the office" policy, so I quickly scarfed down my pop-tart. I ended up choking on it so hard that I threw up. FML

#21369280
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24429) - you deserved it (18835)

On 03/06/2015 at 12:41pm - work - by f*ck (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I went to an ATM intending to withdraw $150. I approached the machine, inserted my card, typed in my pin and followed the prompts. When my card came out, I removed it, put it in my pocket and drove off. FML

Today, I found out my Nan passed away. My boyfriend came over to comfort me, things got intimate and we ended up having sex. After he came, he chuckled to himself and said, "That one's for you, Nan". FML

Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with my crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again FML

#21276854
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38171) - you deserved it (3682)

On 10/13/2014 at 11:42am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)



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