FMLs submitted from Saskatchewan

Today, I panicked when I saw a spider on my shoulder from the corner of my eye. It was a birthmark. The same one that has been there for the last 23 years. FML

by lct722 / 03/16/2012 at 1:54am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML

by Ismellbacon / 02/29/2012 at 1:29am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Health

Today, I was diagnosed with vertigo. It's like being perpetually drunk, but without any of the fun bits. FML

by aylla / 01/06/2012 at 12:51pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Health

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't know what I was going to do over the Christmas holidays since he was going to be out of the country. He suggested that I work out and do some sit-ups. FML

by Doy / 12/19/2011 at 1:31am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Love

Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2011 at 11:27pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML

by me / 11/30/2011 at 1:43am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

by anonymous / 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

by last literate / 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work

Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML

by drunkboysgf / 10/21/2011 at 3:39am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to Walmart with my Dad, and he decided to kick me in the butt while I was walking. When I went to kick him back, I hit my own leg out from beneath myself and landed on my face. The most embarrassing thing was that the people who saw all started clapping. FML

by Krystyn Gareau / 09/09/2011 at 12:10am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML

by kaitylait / 08/18/2011 at 8:59pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Health