FMLs submitted from Saskatchewan

Today, I found out that someone found my lost library card, and instead of returning it, took out multiple items. If they don't return them, I'm on the hook to paying over $100 for them. FML

by bookbroke / 04/26/2016 at 12:27am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Money

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2016 at 12:14am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, a 65-ish year-old man told me that he's married and not supposed to look at other women, but that I tempt him. All while sitting next to his wife, who then told me I was going to hell. FML

by Nicky_ham / 01/05/2016 at 11:56pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work

Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 2:32am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Love

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

by MerryDeathmas / 07/18/2015 at 12:31am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Transportation

Today, during a family game of "Cards Against Humanity," I had to explain to my mom what queefing is. FML

Today, my younger brother helpfully pointed out that I'm the only one in my family of five who is single. He's twelve. FML

by 20singleandproudish / 10/23/2014 at 1:18am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Love

Today, it was report card day at swimming lessons. Because it was the last day, a little girl brought me flowers. She was the only kid in that class who didn't pass. FML

by anonymous / 09/03/2014 at 9:31pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 2:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids

Today, while at work, I went to unlock the washroom for a customer. Normally we don't allow customers to use the staff washrooms, so I was as surprised as the guy I found sitting on the toilet when I opened the door. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2014 at 11:02pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work

Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2014 at 2:10pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids

Today, after I took my first set of exams, my professor posted on Twitter, scoffing at how stupid one student's answer was. The answer he quoted was one that I wrote. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2014 at 4:41pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous