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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Rhode Island

Today, when I weighed myself on my scale, it broke. FML

#16417126
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32055) - you deserved it (25536)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:12pm - misc - by trev - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I received my first wedding present in the mail. I opened it immediately and called the sender to say thanks. She yelled at me for opening it and, because she shipped it to me by mistake, requested it back. FML

#14964211
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22813) - you deserved it (2659)

On 02/13/2011 at 9:22pm - misc - by bride2be (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

#14961230
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37848) - you deserved it (8139)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my husband invited a couple of his college friends over for dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them asked loudly, "Hey, whatever happened to that fat bitch you dated in your third year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML

#14545720
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32984) - you deserved it (3200)

On 01/11/2011 at 2:06pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. Right when I arrived, his little sister said, "She's a lot fatter than you said!" FML

#14504548
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26245) - you deserved it (4189)

On 01/08/2011 at 1:38am - love - by Some Girl - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I attended my son's Christmas concert. When I went to sit down in the last available seat, a woman said she was saving it for her husband. Having nowhere else to sit, I stood in the back, for an hour. The seat remained empty for the entire concert. FML

#14214916
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29427) - you deserved it (3529)

On 12/15/2010 at 5:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I got fired from the job I'd had for eleven years for going onto Facebook while on the clock. When I got home, I saw that my boss had updated his status, from work, to "Finally fired that bitch." FML

#14070103
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29606) - you deserved it (8534)

On 12/03/2010 at 9:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML

#13939042
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24389) - you deserved it (4351)

On 11/22/2010 at 5:35pm - misc - by anti-peecleaner (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML

#13876258
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22001) - you deserved it (9838)

On 11/17/2010 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by bottomdrawerraider (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was walking back to campus with my boyfriend when we passed an Irish pub called "Fat Belly's." He put his arm around me, patted my stomach, and said "Yay! It's your restaurant!" FML

#13841183
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23803) - you deserved it (6075)

On 11/14/2010 at 1:54pm - love - by freedomofmusic (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my girlfriend's father offered her $10 to stop talking to me. I don't have a girlfriend anymore. FML

#12266634
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38826) - you deserved it (4537)

On 08/02/2010 at 1:55pm - love - by hAHAha Halo (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML

#12008337
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11392) - you deserved it (66916)

On 07/20/2010 at 7:08pm - work - by jjjjjjmmmmm92 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML

#9157665
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61080) - you deserved it (4643)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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