Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Queensland

Today, at the breakfast table my mum asked me what I thought about the plumber who came to our place a couple of weeks ago. I told her that I thought he was really cute and how hard I tried to flirt with him, she nodded and told me that he is her new boyfriend and might move in with us soon. FML

#4468950
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40432) - you deserved it (4925)

On 08/12/2009 at 3:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML

#4227186
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36392) - you deserved it (8765)

On 08/02/2009 at 9:40am - misc - by soembarrassed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mum deleted my college research assignment on rape because the subject was too vulgar. I had worked on it for the past month and it was worth 50% of my grade. It's due tomorrow. FML

#4192462
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55216) - you deserved it (2961)

On 07/31/2009 at 9:51pm - work - by mandy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML

#3949576
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44507) - you deserved it (14992)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by Mortified (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boss sent out an email with the subject line "Urgent". He accidentally left the body of the email blank. I replied to all staff "You're firing blanks Peter". I later heard that his wife once got drunk and told everyone that they couldn't have kids because he has a low sperm count. FML

#3949208
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34757) - you deserved it (9760)

On 07/22/2009 at 4:16am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up feeling a tingling sensation on my testicles. I enjoyed it for a few seconds, then threw off the covers. Looks like there have been cockroaches in my bed. FML

#3852842
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47023) - you deserved it (8626)

On 07/18/2009 at 6:48am - misc - by fartypeepee (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, on the train home, two drunk guys decided to sit next to me and make casual conversation. This was fine until one decided to take a drink from his beer. While he did, he sneezed in my face. I still smell like beer. FML

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

#2713232
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12706) - you deserved it (79718)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at an awards dinner. I whispered in my wifes ear that she looked really pretty. She whispered in my ear that I should stop clapping so loud because I was embarrassing her. FML

#2654744
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35788) - you deserved it (4851)

On 06/06/2009 at 6:24am - love - by Discostu80 - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year finally told me he loved me. This revelation was quickly followed by "at least, I think this is how people feel when they say that." FML

#2526710
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39136) - you deserved it (4538)

On 06/02/2009 at 7:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML

#2428701
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51679) - you deserved it (18218)

On 05/30/2009 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I spent 3 hours making a birthday card for my boyfriend, delicately cutting each letter out of printed coloured paper. He used it as a coffee coaster. FML

#2138443
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40072) - you deserved it (7134)

On 05/21/2009 at 5:11am - love - by astraboy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML

#1449103
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41530) - you deserved it (5398)

On 04/29/2009 at 4:06am - health - by Jake (man) - Australia (Queensland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: