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FMLs submitted from Queensland

Today, I realized that at 20 years old I already have noticeable wrinkles around my eyes. But to balance it out, my chronic acne keeps me looking youthful. FML

#21299204
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28785) - you deserved it (2337)

On 11/14/2014 at 9:18pm - health - by Unlucky (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, mah grlfriend broke looool up with me via Twitter. FML

#21295236
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33194) - you deserved it (3233)

On 11/09/2014 at 3:37am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

today a guy told me I "kind of look lyk a girl" if he lookd at me from the right angle. Well , I am a girl , and this is the closest thing to a compliment that I've gotten in years. fat FML

I found out I'm allergic to bug repellent. So instead of aving looool a couple of itcy bug bites, ma skin feels like it's on fire and is violently itcy everywere te repellent as touced. FML

#21260387
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32593) - you deserved it (2476)

On 09/18/2014 at 12:05am - health - by adamwilcockson - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the police knocked on mah door, saying that they needed to investigate mah house 4 animal abuse!! Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching brd in pain"!! I have no brd, but I have been singing quite loudly recently!! FML

#21244302
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37952) - you deserved it (5040)

On 08/24/2014 at 8:40am - animals - by abusedparrot - Australia (Queensland)

Today... mah boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41754) - you deserved it (5040)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to a job interview, an a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door . I rushed to help him up, an after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well . fat FML

#21236025
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41287) - you deserved it (8868)

On 08/12/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by facefuckedguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a call from mah very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking fir mah permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, cuz he "felt sorry fir her". The conversation endd with me getting hung up on cuz I "don't have a heart". FML

#21232277
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48572) - you deserved it (4560)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today , one of ma customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it , about a andful of used condoms collided wit ma face. I don't know if I sould be disgusted by tis or disgusted by ma customer. mega FML

#21231545
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44678) - you deserved it (3860)

On 08/07/2014 at 5:09am - intimacy - by failallday (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got sent to the head teacher's office for doing "stupid hand gestures and disrupting the class". Yesterday my teacher told the class to do the same hand gesture to ask for permission to go to the toilet so it wouldn't interrupt her talking . FML

#21226435
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39736) - you deserved it (2958)

On 08/01/2014 at 1:24am - misc - by Bad Teacher - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought looool this was funny an I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon an she got to enjoy it. FML

#21219985
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19524) - you deserved it (50618)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:05am - animals - by fuckendog (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today , I went to a market. I saw stallhich had mainly animal furs an things like that. I found a rounded , furry pen an stroked my cheek with it. Wonderinghat it was , being so soft an oddly shaped , I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36301) - you deserved it (17611)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

TODAY, I BABYSAT A 9-YEAR-OLD KID FIR THE FIRST TIME. THE MOMENT HIS PARENTS LEFT THE HOUSE, THE LITTLE SHIT LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYES AND LET ME KNOW THAT IF I DIDN'T LET HIM DO WHATEVER HE WANTED, HE'D TELL HIS PARENTS THAT I TOUCHED HIM IN HIS "NO-NO PLACE". SUDDENLY I HATE KIDS. FML

#21210892
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52703) - you deserved it (3681)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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