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FMLs submitted from Queensland

Today, I had my daughter babysit her 2-year-old brother while I went out with my husband. I told her not to let him out of her sight. She certainly did as I said; when I tuned into our internet-enabled baby monitor, I heard her and some guy having sex in the room. FML

#21460833
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22484) - you deserved it (2345)

On 08/26/2015 at 4:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, driving to work, I stop to let an old man cross the street. The driver behind me honks their horn, so I decide to drive slow to piss them off. A few turns later, I pull into the car park and notice the other driver following me. She works in the office next to mine. We met the other day. FML

#21450445
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21299) - you deserved it (6237)

On 08/01/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Hellasboy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out "hello" had turned into a date. FML

#21449387
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25449) - you deserved it (2172)

On 07/30/2015 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML

#21436121
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21094) - you deserved it (5983)

On 07/03/2015 at 11:41pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I quit my job so I wouldn't have to work with this one complete fuck-wit anymore. I told him what I thought of him, and then walked away giving him the middle finger. Turns out, he is a regular customer at my new job. Everyone loves him and thinks he's awesome. FML

#21435181
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25065) - you deserved it (9480)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:49am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML

#21434454
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23634) - you deserved it (1654)

On 06/30/2015 at 4:26pm - work - by sickatwokr - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML

#21421616
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27785) - you deserved it (4685)

On 06/06/2015 at 1:52am - animals - by iamfab - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I asked my landlady if she could fix the air conditioner that's been broken since I moved in. Instead, she came round and took away my bathroom mirror, along with all the toilet paper. FML

#21415859
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28286) - you deserved it (2093)

On 05/26/2015 at 1:09am - misc - by meh (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML

#21408859
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30685) - you deserved it (4288)

On 05/12/2015 at 8:53am - intimacy - by Darryl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that me switching to "super" sized tampons does not mean I've been having sex with other men with bigger penises, and that my vagina hasn't been "stretched bigger". FML

#21403711
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33573) - you deserved it (3225)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, during my shift at work, I started to feel really sick and started throwing up. While I had my head in a bag, I had several customers ask me for directions and another customer abuse me for my lack of service. FML

#21400980
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27838) - you deserved it (2075)

On 04/28/2015 at 1:24am - health - by vomitgirl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML



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