FMLs submitted from Quebec

Today, my very traditional grandmother has decided it's time for me to get married to Kevin. She's called half the town and informed them of the good news. I'm 17. I've never met Kevin. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2009 at 4:47am / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I called my mother who is vacationing in Florida with my dad and sister. Before they left I told them I would be very responsible and that they could trust me. The first thing she asked me is if all the animals were still alive. I said yes. I lied. Her favourite cat drowned in the pool. FML

by baddaughter / 11/16/2009 at 12:11pm / Canada (Quebec) / Holidays

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2009 at 3:34pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom texted me in the middle of my end of term math exam, saying it was extremely urgent and needed me to come home ASAP. While skipping my exam, I finally got home to find out my mom forgot what the emergency was. FML

by failedexam / 11/06/2009 at 1:52am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago told her that I was cheating on her, telepathically. FML

by iGotSkill / 10/30/2009 at 9:32pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy I was seeing put candles all over his room to make things romantic. As we were getting it on, a plastic bag caught fire next to the bed. He had the brilliant idea to wave it around to put it out. Burning pieces of plastic landed on my arm. FML

by LadySteph12 / 10/28/2009 at 8:53pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I drove 3 hours to go to an award ceremony. When I got there, I had to wait an hour for the hall to open, then sat listening to speeches for two hours, got my "award", and drove 3 hours home. The award was a small pin that I already had. FML

by HoShiz / 10/25/2009 at 10:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my grandfather's burial. As the family was about to leave, a great aunt came up to my skinny, tall and pretty cousin and told her, "Stay beautiful and kind." Then, she walked to me and said, "And you, Stay kind." FML

by kthx / 10/22/2009 at 8:26am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him: "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied: " Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML

by nick / 10/18/2009 at 9:39am / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, after working another double shift because I want to buy my boyfriend a really expensive anniversary present, I get to his apartment to find him calculating in how many paychecks he'll be able to afford a Caribbean getaway. For himself. FML

by Sucker / 10/12/2009 at 3:31pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, was my first day as a bouncer. I was a bit late and didn't meet all the staff. Later that night, some fairly drunk guy was trying to force his way in, I told him we were at capacity and that he would have to wait. He kept trying and I ended up pushing him to the floor. He was the owner. FML

by Baboosh / 09/28/2009 at 12:11am / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 7:36pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love