FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, at the supermarket, a woman came up to me and said I looked just like her son, who was killed in Afghanistan. She tearfully asked if she could hug me "one last time". It was a little weird, but I let her. 10 minutes later, at the checkout, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML

by Justin 'Cuntface' Bieber III / 06/14/2015 at 9:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML

by queenbee / 06/14/2015 at 9:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to my neighbor's funeral, with whom I had been good friends with for a long time. When I asked her husband why, he said, "We have a small amount of money and can't afford for you to eat all of the refreshments." FML

by DUFF / 06/11/2015 at 5:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man walked by and said I looked "super fine." When I looked up to look him in the face, he immediately looked disgusted and basically ran away. Apparently, my face does that. FML

by fugly / 06/05/2015 at 8:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother changed my Google+ name without asking. He has done this before and I fixed it by just changing it back. Turns out Google has a 3-time limit per year for how many times you can change your name. Now I'm stuck with "Poop" for my YouTube name for a year. FML

by KittKatt / 05/20/2015 at 1:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little cousin was helping me wash my car. After scrubbing all the dirt, I gave him the hose and said, "Okay, now rinse off this disgusting thing." He turned the hose on me. FML

by ptarr12345 / 05/14/2015 at 12:26am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

by Basically_ / 05/11/2015 at 5:24pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 9:51am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I was out with my youngest cousin and we had to stop for gas. Since he just got his license, I asked if he wanted to pump the gas while I went into the station to get snacks and pay. He pumped my car full of diesel. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2015 at 11:45am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2015 at 3:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML

by Jbheller / 05/02/2015 at 8:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML

by fatty / 04/28/2015 at 9:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

by fuck / 04/18/2015 at 10:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love