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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48992) - you deserved it (6989)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

#21208907
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40864) - you deserved it (5279)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

#21206358
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40635) - you deserved it (6447)

On 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm - health - by sexyhobbit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to store in order to find my birthday gift. What was he really doing? His girlfriend. FML

#21202458
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49754) - you deserved it (3925)

On 07/08/2014 at 1:41am - love - by rozsrredd (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I hugged my dad. Since I don't hug him very much, he was confused. When I pulled away from him, smiling, he slapped me, saying the smiling and the hug made it look like I was "up to something." FML

Today, my little sister started freaking out, because she was playing with some white-out eraser and got some on her finger. She started crying inconsolably because she thought her entire finger was going to disappear. FML

#21198613
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39108) - you deserved it (4137)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:41pm - kids - by neryc (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML

#21192976
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41240) - you deserved it (11269)

On 06/29/2014 at 9:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend's grandma took me to his house to hang out. I then heard her in the kitchen telling his mom how hard she tried to leave me at the nearest gas station. FML

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39126) - you deserved it (20935)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

#21126864
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44495) - you deserved it (5808)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42385) - you deserved it (8300)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58576) - you deserved it (9025)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we had a speaking assessment in Spanish class. When it was my turn, I yawned in the middle of a sentence, said "excuse me" and finished my sentence. She took points off because I hesitated and I spoke in English, not Spanish. FML

#21108988
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38059) - you deserved it (12023)

On 04/09/2014 at 10:33pm - misc - by macaroni17 - United States (Pennsylvania)



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