FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing a game where you ask sexual questions and you have to give an honest answer. At one point, I asked my boyfriend what his favorite position is, to which he quickly answered with no hesitation, "Any one where I don't have to see your face or body." FML

by uglyallover / 09/20/2009 at 10:42am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I got my first tattoo. When I showed my boyfriend, he asked where I got the design. I told him I saw it in a sketch book of his. He designed it for his last girlfriend, who got it in the same place. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2009 at 6:01pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I had a blind date with a girl someone in my office set me up with. Before the waitress returned with our drinks, this girl asked me to go to her parent's house and pretend to be the father of her yet unborn child because the real father is a drug addict and in jail for stealing her dad's car. FML

by oh_its_true / 09/18/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a professor approached me in the hall to ask if, since I'm a math major, I could tutor one of her communications majors in a required Calculus course. Apparently the volunteer tutor the school provides "is a complete dumbass." I'm the school's volunteer tutor. FML

by bastawhiz / 09/17/2009 at 10:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I finally told my fiancé about the crippling sexual abuse I suffered through as a child. He immediately broke off the wedding. His reason? He can't marry someone who isn't "pure". FML

by Jackie / 09/17/2009 at 9:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging his neck and shoulders. He opens his eyes, looks at me, says "No", and goes back to sleep. FML

by turnoff / 09/17/2009 at 12:42am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

by Missy / 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I was doing laundry at college. There was a pile of clothes sitting on top of a dryer, but the dryer was empty so I used it. I came back to a note saying, "Don't touch my laundry, asshole" and a dryer filled with urine soaked laundry. FML

by easrc / 09/08/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that I was denied for work study eligibility by my college. I went to my financial advisor to ask why. It wasn't my grades or attendance. Apparently my father makes too much money for me to get a job at the school. My dad was fired 3 months ago and has been out of work since. FML

by SapphireRaven / 09/07/2009 at 1:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I was turned down from my dream job at a graphic design firm. Before the interview, concerned about my hobo style would not impress the company, I shaved, cut my long hair, and even bought a suit. They said I wasn't "free-spirited and creative enough." FML

by hoboman / 09/02/2009 at 11:12am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I wanted to be creative. I hid an engagement ring for my girlfriend inside one of her running shoes. I expected her to find it and wake me up, but she didn't. Later, when I asked if there was anything in her shoe, she responded, "There was a rock. I just shook it out outside. Why?" FML

by fmlll / 08/28/2009 at 11:08am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML

by secretdeo / 08/24/2009 at 12:48am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turns to my dog and says "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our new dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML

by bigscarypuppy / 08/22/2009 at 1:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals