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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

#4106
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27312) - you deserved it (9387)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML

#3156
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4322) - you deserved it (35008)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:20pm - misc - by 315 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML

#2857
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5093) - you deserved it (16682)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

#2412
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23774) - you deserved it (6718)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:50am - money - by waitingformyfoodstamps - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at lunch, I told a bunch of people how I had been in love with this guy since freshman year. I made a bunch of jokes about how I was going to marry him and our kids would be so attractive. He was at the table next to mine and looked back at me as soon as I finished. FML

#2341
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12726) - you deserved it (12420)

On 01/23/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang out". He's "en route", so I start to make my bed only to find my cat thought this was the best time to tell me she's sick by throwing up in my bed. I only have one set of linen. FML

#2316
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13817) - you deserved it (5360)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:12am - love - by LC - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I moved back home because I got laid off and could no longer afford my apartment. I decided to take a nap and when I woke up I overheard my Mom telling my Aunt that she used to be so proud of me and wonders when I became such a loser. Burn. FML

#2215
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19405) - you deserved it (2172)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by TotallyFkd - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend came to visit me for my birthday. Over dinner he handed me a blank card that had the words "I love you" hastily written on it. When the waiter came to take our order he informed him that we'd be paying separately. Happy Birthday. FML

#1942
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20648) - you deserved it (1831)

On 01/20/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by nicegirl08 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went downstairs to grab a snack and a glass of Silk (you know, the soymilk). When I get back to my room, I go to throw the snack on my bed to shut the door, but I tossed with the wrong hand. FML

#1926
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9649) - you deserved it (17478)

On 01/20/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by crystalwho - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML

#1705
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28464) - you deserved it (1821)

On 01/19/2009 at 6:12am - love - by f'ed_over - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spent 6 hours on an airplane next to an alcoholic Pink Floyd fanatic. I must've drifted off because when I took a trip to the bathroom I noticed that my pant leg that had been closest to the drunk man was soaking wet. I returned to my seat. He was on his side, facing me. I smelt the wet spot. Not beer. FML

#1452
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16579) - you deserved it (1363)

On 01/17/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by millzee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

#1028
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5241) - you deserved it (42251)

On 01/13/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Gale - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I enjoy reading this site and other people's suffering just to feel better about my own life. FML

#818
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22252) - you deserved it (6341)

On 01/08/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by sampaloompy - United States (Pennsylvania)



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