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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my Father over top of me saying "nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burgler and he knocked me out. FML

#268069
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52430) - you deserved it (8541)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

Today, I called off work saying my Great Grandmother died. A co-worker texted me later asking where and when the funeral was. I made up a lie and said some random funeral home and date. My co-workers sent flowers to the funeral home for condolences. The flowers were returned. FML

#257281
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6854) - you deserved it (86565)

On 03/09/2009 at 11:32pm - work - by Whatever01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my four best friends are going to Florida for spring break without me. When asked why I was not invited to go with them the answer I received was, "we don't think you would look very good in a bathing suit, and we want to be able to pick up cute guys on the beach." FML

#226392
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63354) - you deserved it (5786)

On 03/06/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was supposed to see an apartment. 30 minutes after I was to meet the owner, she still hadn't shown. I called her. When I got no response, I was annoyed and kept calling. Finally, she answered, said, "I'm in the hospital with my father. He just died. Please stop calling me," and hung up. FML

#220421
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48365) - you deserved it (19570)

On 03/05/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by ohboy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was meeting my sister's fiancé. I went to an internet cafe before I went to her house for dinner with them. I was on a computer and there was this really attractive man next to me. I was flirting with him and we exchanged numbers. Turns out, he is my sister's fiancé. FML

#220247
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67896) - you deserved it (6801)

On 03/05/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by f*** (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received a card in the mail. It was from my vet's office. Written inside was "We send our sympathy during this trying time." I haven't been home in three days. I can't find my dog and my mother won't talk about it. My dog was 7. She hated that dog. FML

#216168
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65664) - you deserved it (2308)

On 03/05/2009 at 11:06am - animals - by nochance (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was debating weed legalization in drug awareness. I was thoroughly unleashing arguments: how marijuana turns normal citizens into criminals, how the government spends billions to enforce drug laws, when I lost my train of thought. My teacher grinned saying, "My point exactly." FML

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML

#205894
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53708) - you deserved it (20789)

On 03/04/2009 at 11:24am - intimacy - by hoovered (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML

#171623
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50262) - you deserved it (8302)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:36pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I drank for every year I've been in school. While in my bed I decided I was too drunk to get up and throw up in the bathroom so I decided to just do it on my floor and clean it up later. Later on I woke up and realized I threw up on my $1000 laptop. FML

#153348
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29905) - you deserved it (215409)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm - health - by ugh!! (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend said that being with me was his payment for past sins. FML

#134361
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48887) - you deserved it (5507)

On 02/25/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by sadgf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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