FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I was doing laundry at college. There was a pile of clothes sitting on top of a dryer, but the dryer was empty so I used it. I came back to a note saying, "Don't touch my laundry, asshole" and a dryer filled with urine soaked laundry. FML

Today, I found out that I was denied for work study eligibility by my college. I went to my financial advisor to ask why. It wasn't my grades or attendance. Apparently my father makes too much money for me to get a job at the school. My dad was fired 3 months ago and has been out of work since. FML

by SapphireRaven / 09/07/2009 at 1:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I was turned down from my dream job at a graphic design firm. Before the interview, concerned about my hobo style would not impress the company, I shaved, cut my long hair, and even bought a suit. They said I wasn't "free-spirited and creative enough." FML

by hoboman / 09/02/2009 at 11:12am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I wanted to be creative. I hid an engagement ring for my girlfriend inside one of her running shoes. I expected her to find it and wake me up, but she didn't. Later, when I asked if there was anything in her shoe, she responded, "There was a rock. I just shook it out outside. Why?" FML

by fmlll / 08/28/2009 at 11:08am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML

by secretdeo / 08/24/2009 at 12:48am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turns to my dog and says "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our new dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML

by bigscarypuppy / 08/22/2009 at 1:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

by younggrammy / 08/20/2009 at 4:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I re-dislocated my arm trying to get it out of the cast it was in because I didn't want to pay the $50 dollar fee to get it taken off. FML

by flaps / 08/19/2009 at 5:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

by litterbox_girl / 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, there were some wasps getting in my bedroom from a hole in the frame of my window. I went outside with some spray and took out their entrance. What I didnt know is that when you spray wasps, they go the other direction. I now have 60+ wasps flying around my bedroom. FML

by BearGrillz / 08/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I went into my Moms room to look for a t-shirt. I went into her drawer and behind all of her clothes was a cell phone. Not only did I not find the t-shirt, I also found out my Mom is cheating on my Dad with someone from work and now I have to pretend like I don't know. I work there too. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2009 at 4:21am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got the courage to approach a girl. I've never done anything like this before. She stared me down, not saying a word, until I felt so little that I just walked away. FML

by Mark / 08/13/2009 at 6:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML

by dumbblonde / 08/05/2009 at 11:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals