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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML

#3705241
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8617) - you deserved it (80188)

On 07/13/2009 at 12:28am - love - by Terry (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

#3691268
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86504) - you deserved it (13483)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received 7 notifications on facebook. Girls in my grade were commenting on my photo because they knew the location of it. They then started to have a conversation and they planned a whole social event. On my photo. I wasn't invited. FML

#3669068
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46620) - you deserved it (3875)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by laurraaa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61035) - you deserved it (31579)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

#3563535
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (126156) - you deserved it (4625)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my girlfriend to Taco Bell since it's her favorite place to eat. I thought it'd be cute to get one of the sauce packets that says "Will you marry me?" on it and give it to her all cute-like. She thought it was adorable. While we were leaving, she threw it out. FML

#3514129
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33022) - you deserved it (23797)

On 07/05/2009 at 9:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, was my wedding day. Right before I walked down the aisle in my gorgeous white dress the woman who did my makeup saw a blemish. She went to squirt concealer on her finger and squirted the orange concealer all over my dress. FML

#3503647
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56506) - you deserved it (3024)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by squirt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML

#3469225
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40058) - you deserved it (3367)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:18am - animals - by Grossedouttt - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

#3456831
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30758) - you deserved it (11794)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:19pm - work - by PeePee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was holding a yard sale. A man came up to me and asked if he could buy a pair of red and white sneakers that I'd found in my attic and had never worn. Five bucks later, he was walking away with what I now realize was the pair of shoes signed by Michael Jordan given to me by my uncle. FML

#3455804
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13728) - you deserved it (74028)

On 07/03/2009 at 2:30pm - misc - by capcha (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML

#3380486
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46999) - you deserved it (18142)

On 06/30/2009 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML

#3205233
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62520) - you deserved it (3775)

On 06/25/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by Emptyspace (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got an invitation in the mail for my dad's third wedding. My first name was misspelled on the envelope. FML

#3165939
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48448) - you deserved it (2426)

On 06/24/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by silkworm (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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