FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend due to the fact that she's been cheating on me with my best friend for the past year. She said I was overreacting, and to grow a pair. FML

by Anthony / 08/15/2010 at 9:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, after already having a terrible day, I went to Starbucks for an espresso. Being nice, I put the last dollar I had in my wallet in their tip jar. While paying for my drink, my card was denied for insufficient funds. The world hates me. FML

by noespresso / 08/15/2010 at 4:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I was watching TV when a Toy Story 3 commercial came on. My Mom said, "Oh, I remember when I took you to see Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so are you. The only difference is Andy is going to college and you're not." FML

by Chris / 08/11/2010 at 9:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2010 at 4:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my car broke down. I had a two mile, up-hill walk ahead of me. About half way up the hill, a car beeped. Thinking they were poking fun at my misfortune, I began to curse and use obscene gestures, only to find out that it was my neighbor asking if I needed a ride. She drove off. FML

by bitch / 08/03/2010 at 9:19pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I discovered our AOL billing information. Turns out we've been paying for dial-up via automatic bill paying that we thought we cancelled in 2000. $1,800 later, we called to cancel. Customer service congratulated us on being loyal members for over 13 years. FML

by Jay / 08/02/2010 at 1:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML

by lifeguard down / 08/01/2010 at 12:23am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2010 at 7:24pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2010 at 12:26am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2010 at 2:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, to save money, I wanted to fix my own leaky roof instead of hiring someone. When I got on the roof, the ladder fell. As it was falling, it broke three windows and snagged the siding of my house ripping over half of it off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2010 at 1:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got around to organizing my closet. Discarded clothes fell into three distinct categories: Too Small, Yellow Pits, Stained with Food. FML

by unit / 07/07/2010 at 12:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

by rkl2010 / 05/23/2010 at 2:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids