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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML

#6108981
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29971) - you deserved it (12496)

On 11/01/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Oops (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML

#6105149
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14808) - you deserved it (3515)

On 11/01/2009 at 5:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, mum woke me up before seven in the morning on a Saturday so I could open my birthday gifts. I'm an insomniac and I had just fallen asleep. I wasn't even awake yet and she yelled at me to be more enthusiastic. FML

#6084387
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25392) - you deserved it (3341)

On 10/31/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Morgannaken (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work one of my co-worker was oddly nice to me; and my boss, who usually always says hi to me, didn't look or speak to me. Later that day I found out that I was going to be fired, not because my boss told me but because my picture was missing from the wall of employees. FML

#6064494
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20317) - you deserved it (1122)

On 10/29/2009 at 11:35pm - work - by SM (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I work as a cashier, and Iike always I asked the customer paying credit to sign the "sheet" of paper. I recieved a dirty look from one woman who apparently talked to the manager about me, saying I had asked her to sign the "shitty" paper. I have now been warned for "derogatory language." FML

#6057251
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22707) - you deserved it (2128)

On 10/29/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML

#6040415
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6427) - you deserved it (28705)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by Moody (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML

#6008433
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28255) - you deserved it (2877)

On 10/26/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by notsohot (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML

#5907906
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36345) - you deserved it (2852)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:26am - health - by 20lbknockout (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my younger sister's dog broke its leg. The vets are closed today so instead of going on a date with a girl I have been trying to get for at least 2 years, I need to carry an 80 lb. dog that hates me, up and down the stairs. I already got bit twice. FML

#5844999
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25233) - you deserved it (2821)

On 10/15/2009 at 6:14pm - animals - by Noname (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I let my mother use my computer for school work. Later that day my mom asks me what's wrong with the computer. I look at it, only seeing a "Welcome to Windows XP" screen. She said that she saw a blue screen and pressed L and C when it asked her to. My mom managed to clear my hard drive. FML

#5843241
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25452) - you deserved it (2725)

On 10/15/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by artiemilano (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to crown the homecoming queen, a responsibility of mine as class president. It just happened to be that the queen is my ex-girlfriend that I still love, escorted by her new boyfriend. FML

#5786239
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33548) - you deserved it (3414)

On 10/11/2009 at 10:48pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 70 year old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML

#5669917
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35490) - you deserved it (2143)

On 10/05/2009 at 8:41pm - work - by Eimii (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized I'm missing my diamond earrings. After ripping apart the vacuum bag and exhausting all other options I'm pretty sure my new cat ate them. I'm going to go sift through several days worth of cat shit now. FML

#5652102
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25486) - you deserved it (5224)

On 10/04/2009 at 10:19pm - animals - by FellingShitty (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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