FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2013 at 7:43am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I went out for drinks. I'm the only one who's actually 21 or over, and they have fake IDs. Not only was I the only one to be carded, the bartender thought that my actual ID was fake. I got kicked out while my friends kept drinking. FML

by whyme / 05/31/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML

by anonymous / 05/27/2013 at 8:56pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2013 at 3:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML

by hitchcock2013 / 05/07/2013 at 1:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

by FML136969 / 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

by anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML

by jerk_ex_boyfriend / 04/21/2013 at 9:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

by thanks, my fellow americans / 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 8:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, the McDonald's in my town ran out of fries. I was the one who had to tell all the angry customers we had no more fries in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 3:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML

by amberrenee91 / 03/18/2013 at 11:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML

by nerdgirlmickey / 03/03/2013 at 11:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love