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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I was bored. Some people would've called up friends to hang out. Not me. I had the sudden urge to make an entire Excel Spreadsheet on how much I've spent on iTunes, month-by-month. I'm not sure what's worse, that I got really into it, or that I've spent nearly $800.00 on iTunes. FML

#16554560
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13441) - you deserved it (26468)

On 06/07/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Mik (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

#16464729
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12713) - you deserved it (30605)

On 06/02/2011 at 6:05am - misc - by ohcrap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He said he would have done it two weeks ago but he needed someone to drive him around while his car was getting repaired. FML

#16209782
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40248) - you deserved it (3904)

On 05/16/2011 at 6:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to run a mile in gym class for fitness training. If it takes longer than 10 minutes to run the stretch, you have to re-take it. My time was 10:02. FML

#16160002
531 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31969) - you deserved it (17615)

On 05/13/2011 at 5:10pm - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized I have more dogs than I do friends. I have two dogs. FML

#16126414
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31772) - you deserved it (5768)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my teacher told me I wasn't pretty enough to play the princess part in the play. FML

#15769893
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37822) - you deserved it (4989)

On 04/13/2011 at 12:36pm - misc - by sophie - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML

#15749672
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50721) - you deserved it (12936)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:27am - love - by BrokeAndPsst (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while dog sitting, the dog peed on the carpet. There was a bottle of cleaning spray on the counter so I sprayed the spot. Turns out that spray was Clorox Bleach. Now their carpet is bright orange. FML

#15713068
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13346) - you deserved it (19778)

On 04/09/2011 at 7:00pm - animals - by Danielle - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML

#15698653
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16947) - you deserved it (31925)

On 04/08/2011 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I returned home to find the key to my mailbox missing. I called the post office and was informed that a new key will cost me $15. I have no money, and my paycheck is in the mailbox. FML

#15636997
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27132) - you deserved it (3704)

On 04/04/2011 at 3:47pm - money - by DaisyMay (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML

#15574334
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18699) - you deserved it (21114)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

#15432254
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44736) - you deserved it (4264)

On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML

#15431141
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12157) - you deserved it (45488)

On 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm - misc - by FailedSniper (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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