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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, a hobo shook me down for money on the street. He's my brother, who incidentally ran away from home over two years ago. FML

#19776561
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32784) - you deserved it (2409)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:59pm - money - by Sarah - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was cutting the grass, it was really hot and I fainted. I woke up to see my mom standing over me. I thought she was going to freak out and call an ambulance. Instead she said, "Good, you're up. Now you can finish." FML

#19705989
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25609) - you deserved it (2265)

On 05/30/2012 at 7:07pm - misc - by Aw522 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out where my surprise honeymoon is; it involves swimming with dolphins. I have a huge fear of dolphins, whales and sharks. FML

#19696496
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19828) - you deserved it (7335)

On 05/28/2012 at 11:36pm - misc - by SwimmingInFear - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my remote control airplane arrived in the mail. I was super excited, so naturally I took it outside for its first flight. It now resides at the top of the tallest tree in sight. FML

#19691292
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17054) - you deserved it (8034)

On 05/27/2012 at 11:33pm - misc - by buckley456 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML

#19615713
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30926) - you deserved it (2948)

On 05/13/2012 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17499) - you deserved it (29967)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I fell and hit my head on hard concrete. When I went to the emergency room for a CT Scan, the nurse hit me in the head with an IV pole. FML

#19540770
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25620) - you deserved it (1806)

On 04/28/2012 at 2:52am - health - by mark807 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML

#19470804
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32757) - you deserved it (12507)

On 04/15/2012 at 3:03am - intimacy - by bummed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML

#19462191
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18895) - you deserved it (4008)

On 04/13/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my sister gave me a makeover. I protested, but she insisted it'd look great. After an eternity of eyebrow plucking, she handed me the mirror. I now have extremely badly-drawn sharpie eyebrows. FML

#19417641
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23736) - you deserved it (5927)

On 04/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by nobrows (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

#19389998
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10335) - you deserved it (23901)

On 04/01/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Zack - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

#19387601
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16867) - you deserved it (30284)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML

#19372815
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11299) - you deserved it (20051)

On 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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