FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I found out that my restaurant's food is so bad that the only reason some people visit is because they're punishing their kids. FML

by not the cook / 06/09/2013 at 1:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my step-dad's three year old granddaughter slept over. She insisted she didn't need a diaper to go to sleep and they put her in my bed with me, actually believing that she didn't need a diaper. Not only did she kick me all night, but I had the joy of waking up to her peeing on me. FML

by samabomination / 06/02/2013 at 4:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML

by sleepy momma / 06/02/2013 at 2:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2013 at 7:43am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I went out for drinks. I'm the only one who's actually 21 or over, and they have fake IDs. Not only was I the only one to be carded, the bartender thought that my actual ID was fake. I got kicked out while my friends kept drinking. FML

by whyme / 05/31/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML

by anonymous / 05/27/2013 at 8:56pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2013 at 3:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML

by hitchcock2013 / 05/07/2013 at 1:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

by FML136969 / 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

by anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML

by jerk_ex_boyfriend / 04/21/2013 at 9:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

by thanks, my fellow americans / 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 8:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous