FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML

by Chellybelly92 / 07/01/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2013 at 1:51pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I have pink eye in both eyes, the stomach virus, and a cold. I'm also sitting at work because my boss "doesn't believe in sick days." FML

by sicksicksick / 06/19/2013 at 1:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I started playing softball again in a league after not playing for about 5 years. My very first time at the bat I whacked a foul ball into the parking lot and hit my own car. FML

by Dingbat / 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML

by _Tatyana_ / 06/13/2013 at 3:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I found out that my restaurant's food is so bad that the only reason some people visit is because they're punishing their kids. FML

by not the cook / 06/09/2013 at 1:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my step-dad's three year old granddaughter slept over. She insisted she didn't need a diaper to go to sleep and they put her in my bed with me, actually believing that she didn't need a diaper. Not only did she kick me all night, but I had the joy of waking up to her peeing on me. FML

by samabomination / 06/02/2013 at 4:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML

by sleepy momma / 06/02/2013 at 2:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2013 at 7:43am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I went out for drinks. I'm the only one who's actually 21 or over, and they have fake IDs. Not only was I the only one to be carded, the bartender thought that my actual ID was fake. I got kicked out while my friends kept drinking. FML

by whyme / 05/31/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML

by anonymous / 05/27/2013 at 8:56pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2013 at 3:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love