FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, my mom told me she'd canceled my spring break trip to Europe for my 16th birthday. Why? So I could get my wisdom teeth pulled 2 months early. FML

by gatewayev700 / 02/26/2015 at 11:18am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, a man approached me and told me he wanted to drink my dirty bath water. FML

by sam882 / 02/23/2015 at 1:49am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mother moved in to my 2-bedroom apartment with me. She brought her boyfriend, 4 chihuahuas, and 2 birds with her. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2015 at 8:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML

by whateven333 / 02/17/2015 at 11:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML

by ahhhhhh / 02/12/2015 at 12:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML

by Mkimmi / 02/12/2015 at 2:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I had a big figure skating competition. Many of the girls before me fell or did not execute their jumps correctly. Me? I skated a flawless program. I was placed last because they said I didn't push myself hard enough to the point of falling. FML

by depressedskatergirl / 02/06/2015 at 9:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I felt a painful lump on my jaw. After going on Google, I was convinced I either had an infected tooth or jaw cancer. In a panic, I rushed to the dentist and told the receptionist the problem. She pulled the dentist from an appointment, and he felt around my jaw. It was just a pimple. FML

by not a cancerous pimple / 01/30/2015 at 7:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML

by I'm screwed / 01/27/2015 at 6:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been five days since my roommate last talked to me. Although she's not communicating with me verbally, she's excelling at non-verbal communication: slamming doors and drawers, and watching loud videos, all while I desperately try to study. FML

by NoTalkAllGame / 01/27/2015 at 11:12am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

by BDSM4Jesus / 01/19/2015 at 11:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my mother told me how long it took for her to have me. Not how long she carried me in her womb - how long it took her and my dad to have sex. FML

by -.- / 01/18/2015 at 8:18pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend how he felt about me and he said, "You're the hottest seven I've ever met." FML

by LadyNexus / 01/06/2015 at 10:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love