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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I was in Starbucks with my daughter when she noticed a travel cup she liked. She picked one up and asked for it, but I said no because it was expensive. She angrily slammed it back into its stand and in the process, knocked over a display of ceramic mugs. I had to pay for each broken mug. FML

#21504605
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23678) - you deserved it (4170)

On 12/16/2015 at 9:55pm - kids - by Starfucks (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, some guy I don't know walked up to me and told me that he's determined to sleep with my girlfriend, then walked away while giving me the finger. I've never seen him before in my life. FML

#21504604
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22096) - you deserved it (1597)

On 12/16/2015 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by MystoganFT - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned not to take sex tips from virgins seriously. "Have sex in the shower", they said. "It'll be fun", they said. Well they didn't take slippage into account. One busted nose and concussion later, I'm not seeing the "fun" part at all. FML

#21497666
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19708) - you deserved it (6843)

On 11/27/2015 at 11:21pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a close friend came over with her three-year-old son. The child used a crayon on the walls, flushed my money down the toilet, and threw up. My friend was seriously offended when I asked her to help me clean everything up. FML

#21496255
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24487) - you deserved it (1592)

On 11/24/2015 at 12:45pm - kids - by wellfuckyoutoo - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend and I were having a casual discussion about sex. Blowjobs came up and my friend said she'd never dared to give one, arguing that swallowing sperm can make you pregnant. I then had to go on with a 30 minute argument with her on how that's not possible. She's 26. FML

#21494508
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25957) - you deserved it (2030)

On 11/19/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by LilPie - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about the difference between the U.S. and Canada when she asked me if they have their own government. She wasn't sure if they were governed by the U.S. or if they didn't have a government at all. She's a 33-year-old college graduate. FML

#21490675
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (2471)

On 11/10/2015 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML

#21488383
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22106) - you deserved it (1340)

On 11/04/2015 at 12:26pm - misc - by mydadforgetsme - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a crying little kid alone in a park. I walked around with him for a bit to try to find his parents. When I found his dad, all he did was take the kid and menacingly leer at me until I left. FML

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

#21483983
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22821) - you deserved it (7331)

On 10/24/2015 at 10:47pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my sister asked me to grab her some toilet paper. I refused, so she grabbed my favorite shirt out of the laundry basket and used it to wipe. I was busy icing my sprained ankle. I couldn't walk. She knew this. FML

#21482755
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25875) - you deserved it (3696)

On 10/21/2015 at 8:57pm - kids - by thanks sis - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got banned from a suicide prevention forum for "attention seeking." FML

Today, my roommate confided in me that she hadn't been taking showers while at school because she was afraid of being in the shower when the fire alarm goes off. She goes home once every month, and will only shower there. I have to live with her for the rest of the year. FML

#21477257
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24427) - you deserved it (1568)

On 10/07/2015 at 6:07pm - misc - by Utterly_Confused (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after hearing the results of my spinal tap, following several scans, my doctor said discovering that I have Multiple Sclerosis was a "happy accident". FML

#21476805
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22400) - you deserved it (1384)

On 10/06/2015 at 12:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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