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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend having sex with another woman. They told me to leave so they could finish, and that "we'll all talk this over later." FML

#21416749
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25663) - you deserved it (1745)

On 05/27/2015 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by hellno (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my brother changed my Google+ name without asking. He has done this before and I fixed it by just changing it back. Turns out Google has a 3-time limit per year for how many times you can change your name. Now I'm stuck with "Poop" for my YouTube name for a year. FML

#21412861
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25550) - you deserved it (3902)

On 05/20/2015 at 1:34am - misc - by KittKatt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my little cousin was helping me wash my car. After scrubbing all the dirt, I gave him the hose and said, "Okay, now rinse off this disgusting thing." He turned the hose on me. FML

#21409816
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23658) - you deserved it (5805)

On 05/14/2015 at 12:26am - kids - by ptarr12345 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML

#21406695
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13125) - you deserved it (34851)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was out with my youngest cousin and we had to stop for gas. Since he just got his license, I asked if he wanted to pump the gas while I went into the station to get snacks and pay. He pumped my car full of diesel. FML

#21406178
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28424) - you deserved it (6263)

On 05/07/2015 at 11:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML

#21405167
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29473) - you deserved it (3100)

On 05/05/2015 at 3:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML

#21403566
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30227) - you deserved it (2697)

On 05/02/2015 at 8:08pm - work - by Jbheller (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML

#21401411
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30940) - you deserved it (4540)

On 04/28/2015 at 9:36pm - misc - by fatty - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

#21395685
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22710) - you deserved it (30258)

On 04/18/2015 at 10:38am - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to buy some makeup. As I was checking out, the cashier said, "You're going to need more than that to cover up that face." FML

#21389237
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33983) - you deserved it (2554)

On 04/07/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by f my lifw - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met the perfect guy. He's sweet, funny, charming, a great kisser - the whole package. The downside? He has the same exact name as my father, last name and all. I can't kiss him without thinking of my dad. FML

#21378117
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32048) - you deserved it (3533)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:53pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML

#21378013
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32222) - you deserved it (55)

On 03/19/2015 at 9:06pm - love - by Fred - United States (Pennsylvania)



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