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FMLs submitted from Oxfordshire

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML

#20958414
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31041) - you deserved it (3150)

On 11/15/2013 at 4:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've had the biggest crush on. He spent the next ten minutes calling me delusional, said that I know nothing about him, and laughed that "this isn't Twilight, for fuck's sake". All he did when I started crying was pat me on the head and leave. FML

#20826991
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51013) - you deserved it (8915)

On 08/08/2013 at 8:54am - love - by names suck and so do I (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML

#20588155
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26671) - you deserved it (57435)

On 04/13/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by reallythough - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my English teacher used the word "interpretate" again. This isn't the only mistake she's made though; I've been so frustrated that I've started a list of them. It's over a page long. I'm meant to be learning things from this woman. FML

#20582580
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30795) - you deserved it (3539)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:09pm - work - by Annoyed Student - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I attempted to wax my "lady area". It hurt more than losing my virginity. FML

#19490295
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20687) - you deserved it (8040)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my boss yelled at me for ruining the report she was supposed to write with my "terrible spelling and grammar". I've checked it thoroughly, and all of her 'corrections' are wrong. She doesn’t believe me, and is refusing to look at a dictionary. FML

#16907603
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31304) - you deserved it (2204)

On 06/29/2011 at 8:59am - work - by frustrated (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I complimented a girl on her stockings pattern. Turns out she wasn't wearing stockings. FML

#16797884
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26280) - you deserved it (7736)

On 06/22/2011 at 11:28am - misc - by jordeshting - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my boyfriend decided he hates my male best friend because they have "conflicting interests." My best friend's response? "What's his gamertag so I can shoot him in Halo?" FML

#13630841
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23948) - you deserved it (6296)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:58pm - misc - by MissTrix - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I was working at the Soup Kitchen handing out special christmas dinners to the homeless. At the end of the day I collected my things and went home. It was only then I discovered that my wallet, phone, pager and (for some reason) my glasses has been stolen. FML

#6941652
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21349) - you deserved it (3209)

On 12/25/2009 at 4:21pm - work - by calli (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML

#6286266
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16217) - you deserved it (10690)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:53am - misc - by teepee - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I have my new iPod Touch, and I'm walking down the street. Since it's really cold, I'm wearing gloves. At some point, I want to change the song, and don't want to remove my gloves. I try changing the song with my nose, for about 3 minutes, until I realize I look really stupid. FML

#665
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4670) - you deserved it (29611)

On 01/01/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Ulysse - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

#391
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41091) - you deserved it (22518)

On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)



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