FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, my idiot boss placed an expensive order for anti-bullying banners that read: "Take a stand against bullying!" This would be fine if I didn't work in a specialized school for children in wheelchairs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2015 at 5:29am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, one of my friends asked me to flirt with her boyfriend to see if he would flirt back. Knowing this was a trust test, I agreed. She got pissed at me when he flirted back and still isn't speaking to me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2015 at 4:55am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML

by Arcanin3Boss / 06/23/2015 at 2:37am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my mother-in-law trying to plant a GPS tracker on my car. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2015 at 1:08am / United States (Oregon) / Transportation

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML

by canessadawn / 06/17/2015 at 3:42am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2015 at 11:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate was making a waterproof iPhone case and decided to use my phone to test it out. It didn't work. FML

by Crombinator / 05/01/2015 at 1:30am / United States (Oregon) / Geek

Today, I filled out an online application for a internship. I didn't have all the info I need to complete it, but it wouldn't let me leave anything blank so to move along I filled in crap answers. I pressed "Save". It sent my draft in. I now have to explain that "Jesus" isn't actually my reference. FML

by unprofessional / 04/13/2015 at 1:20am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

by tumbleshay / 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I applied for a job at a local store. As I walked out the door, I heard the manager read it out loud and everybody else laugh. FML

by probably not getting the job / 03/09/2015 at 1:44am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend confessed to cheating on me. Unfortunately, she's a pathological liar and I can't be sure if it's really true, along with half the stuff she tells me on a daily basis. Love is hard. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2015 at 11:02am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

by MIB thingy please... / 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy