Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, my minivan broke down on the side of the highway. I'm out of work and can't afford a cell phone, so I resorted to standing at the back of my van holding a "HELP" sign. About an hour went by, in which time I was passed by a cop car, a firetruck, and a car that said "Roadside Assistance." FML

#12858373
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32429) - you deserved it (3220)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:11pm - misc - by Forded (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

#12438687
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29325) - you deserved it (12776)

On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

#12241266
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36026) - you deserved it (11877)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)

Today, I noticed my husband chews his tongue while we are having it off. He also does this while he is playing World of Warcraft. FML

#12239947
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26655) - you deserved it (6465)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Nuttree (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML

#12077733
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10839) - you deserved it (34760)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by tstaeger (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out what's worse than having the "sex talk" with your parents: having the "sex talk" with your boyfriend, when he's 23, right before you were supposed to have sex. FML

#11977645
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34080) - you deserved it (5079)

On 07/19/2010 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Bellagirl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

#11848419
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11084) - you deserved it (37070)

On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)

Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML

#11822589
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27507) - you deserved it (8051)

On 07/12/2010 at 1:38am - animals - by LexiBoBexi (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I spent ages applying for a scholarship on-line. I found out on the very last page that I do not meet the qualifications for it. FML

#10900890
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26720) - you deserved it (10281)

On 06/01/2010 at 2:05am - work - by effme (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned two important facts: #1 A grown man can, in fact, get beaten up by a teenage girl, and #2 If someone is convinced you are someone else, there is no telling them otherwise. FML

#10661974
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29084) - you deserved it (3976)

On 05/21/2010 at 1:04am - health - by mrmidi - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML

#10658705
544 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16992) - you deserved it (256850)

On 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Chichensoup (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after about a month with no sex, my girlfriend told me to come up to her room and began kissing me passionately. She got me down to my underwear before informing me that she had Spanish homework left. To make things better, upon finishing up, she went straight to sleep. FML

#9672080
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30081) - you deserved it (5287)

On 04/06/2010 at 3:10am - intimacy - by BluBaller (man) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: