FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 9:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

by cutiekenz21 / 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I left my bedroom window open to let in some fresh air while I slept. A skunk got in and sprayed my room. FML

by siannacasey / 07/03/2011 at 4:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

by Mommy / 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me to sneeze seven times in a row. That was the closest he's ever got me to an orgasm. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2011 at 1:45am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep as my family drove to church. No one bothered to say anything about the drawings my siblings drew on my face until after church ended. FML

by Brandy_Dandy78 / 06/12/2011 at 2:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, my boss's cat died. I'm expected to attend the service. FML

by whymyliferose / 06/03/2011 at 12:47am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I got into a staring contest with my dog. I actually cheered when I won. FML

by Lifeless / 06/01/2011 at 3:39am / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, I got hurt and spent the remainder of the day limping. I wish I could say it was from something badass like roller derby, but I can't. A woman with a rolling cart filled with packs of Pepsi rolled over my foot on the bus. FML

by pepsifoot / 04/16/2011 at 3:18pm / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, at 21 years old, I am still so flat chested that I can't even fit into training bras meant for 12 year olds. FML

by nerdsgetmehot / 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML

by radicaloser / 03/25/2011 at 4:50am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, the seat in my car broke and wouldn't move forward. I had to walk to school in the rain because I was too short to reach the pedals. FML

by ants9omarching / 03/09/2011 at 8:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Transportation

Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML

by Saberwolf / 02/13/2011 at 4:14pm / United States (Oregon) / Love